Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged: With Commentary
by Anonymius
Summary: Yu Yu Hakusho shortened and humoured, featuring a few inter-franchise beings making comments when appropriate.
1. Surprised to be Dead

**I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho or anything related.**

* * *

Yusuke: My name is Yusuke Urameshi. A funny thing happened to me- okay, hold it, do we really have to do this?

**Do what?**

Yusuke: This whole Yu Yu Hakusho parody, I mean there's already a good Yu Yu Hakusho parody series out there, do we really need another one?

**If people just avoided parodying something just because it was already done, we wouldn't have Khenpoe's Bleach!**

Yusuke: Fair point. So are you saying you can do a better job than Lanipator?

**Of course not! It's not about the quality. It's about the different ways you can make fun of something that were missed out on! Now stop complaining and get on with it!**

Yusuke: (Sigh) Fine! Ahem, anyway, a funny thing happened to me-

**On the way to the forum!**

Yusuke: Grrrrr…

**Sorry. I couldn't help it. Please continue.**

Yusuke: Thank you. As I was saying, a funny thing happened to me- today when I was skipping school as usual. I saw a kid about to be hit by a car, so I dived in to save him, and got hit instead of him. It all started earlier that day when I decided to go to school just to sit on top of the roof and do nothing. I'm not what you would call the best conformist…

* * *

Keiko: Yusuke, stop being so lazy and get to class!

Yusuke: Yeesh. Why so grouchy?

Keiko: I'm a shonen heroine; I'm supposed to be an angry, violent bitch! Just like shonen heroes are supposed to be all cheerful and hyperactive! And I can't help but notice that you're all moody and irritable!

Yusuke: I don't like following stereotypes in anime. I'd prefer to be a more original shonen hero, you know, like Ichigo Kurosaki.

(Keiko slaps him hard)

Keiko: YOU IDIOT, BLEACH HASN'T BEEN MADE YET!

Yusuke: Right. Of course. What was I-thinking…

* * *

Student: Pl-pl-please! Take all of my money! I beg of you!

Yusuke: Do you think that I want you're stupid money?

Student: B-b-but in the original manga you-

Teacher: Urumeshi, how dare you frighten a fellow student by doing nothing! Now let me punish you by suspending you, giving you exactly what you want. Yes. I suck at punishing.

* * *

Principal: (Stops Yusuke eating a sweet) Ah, Yusuke Urameshi, I see you're still not wearing the proper school uniform. By the way where did you even find a shop that sells green uniforms?

Yusuke: Actually I dyed it this colour.

Principal: Oh. Right. And what is it with you and those sweets, anyway?

Yusuke: Ah, the stupid anime won't let me smoke, so I have to eat these instead. And I thought no one could be worse than 4 Kids!

Principal: (Drags him by the ear) Don't be ridiculous, Yusuke, no network is as bad as 4kids! Just be glad that they don't have you sucking a lollypop instead like Sanji.

Sanji: (Takes lolly pop out of mouth) Hey! Kodak constantly sucked a lolly pop and no one complained!

Principal: Yes, but that's Kodak. (Looks back and finds a cuddly toy in Yusuke's place) What the, a Substitution?

Yusuke: Hey! Just be glad that I didn't use a log! The Naruto Abridged fans would eat me alive if I did that!

Disembodied Voice: Wait; isn't it supposed to be a fake ear?

Disembodied Voice 2: Eh, Anonymius preferred the cuddly toy.

* * *

Yusuke: Man, I can't smoke, can't drink, can't gamble, can't extort money! Not to mention than the animation really, really sucks! Can this series get any stupider?!

Kuwabawa: Yusuke Urameshi.

Yusuke: Right on queue!

Disembodied Voice 2: Good Lord! He actually sounds like that? I thought Lanipator was just yankin our chains!

Disembodied Voice 1: Apparently not.

Disembodied Voice 2: Kazuma Kuwabawa. Second greatest rebel in this show. Wait. He's showing aggressive behaviour towards the hero. How is this Shonen Rival character a deviant?

Yusuke: Because he's only ever second best compared to me!

Disembodied Voice 2: Ah, that makes sense!

(Yusuke beats up Kuwabawa)

Disembodied Voice 2: Wow. Now that's a paradox you don't see everyday!

Disembodied Voice 1: What paradox?

Disembodied Voice 2: He's beating up that kid, but prancing like a ballerina at the same time! He's embodying both masculine and feminine qualities!

Yusuke: -WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?

(Throws a punch in the direction of the Disembodied Voice 2)

Disembodied Voice 2: DUCK!

Disembodied Voice 1: OW, MY NOSE!

* * *

Yusuke: But seriously now who the Hell are you invisible people and why are you following me?

Disembodied Voice 2: But of course! We haven't introduced ourselves, have we? Well, I've gone by many names over the year, but you can call me-

Disembodied Voice 1: Are you going to use those exact words EVERY time you introduce yourself?

WHACK!

Disembodied Voice 2: (After whacking Disembodied Voice 1 with a mallet) Anyhoo, I'm called the Commentator, and this is the Professor.

Professor: Do how you do!

Yusuke: O-kay. So anyway, why are you following me?

Commentator: Well, as Commentator it's my job to make sassy comments when appropriate, so in order to do that in this series, I have to follow you, the main character.

Yusuke: Uhuh.

* * *

Child: Hey Mister! Can I have my ball back?

Yusuke: Listen kid! You shouldn't be playing on the street like that! You could get run over by a car or something!

(The child just stares at him)

Yusuke: (Huh. This kid isn't afraid of me. Now I know why Shrek took such a liking to Donkey!)

* * *

Child: Ha ha! Monster! Monster!

Yusuke: (Aw, man! I was trying to be an idiot!)

Commentator: I think the translator mixed up the word 'baka' with 'obake'!

Yusuke: Okay kid, you can have your ball back, just keep away from the road.

Commentator: Um. Are you sure you should give the ball back now? Given where you just put it?

Yusuke: EWW!

Commentator: Hey, you're the one who put it in your trousers, if anyone should go eww it should be me!

* * *

Yusuke: Oh no! That kid is about to get run over! Time to do something that no one would have ever thought I'd do!

Sammy: Oh no! The usually selfish kid is about to sacrifice himself at the wheels of a modern form of transportation in order to save a helpless stranger! (Covers eyes) It's Gantz all over again!

Yusuke: GAK!

Commentator: Yeah, but not as messy. By the way, if anyone is curious, this is the third commentator, Sammy the Slug.

Sammy: Please to meet you all!

* * *

Yusuke: -Which all leads me back here. Huh. So if I'm road kill down there, then who am I up here? Unless I'm a, errr…. Hmmmm….

Professor: Umm-? (Raises his hand)

Commentator: (Forces hand down) Let's give him a moment to figure it out.

(Hours later)

Yusuke: Errr, am-I a-errr, ummmm-

Commentator: Groan, YOU'RE A GHOST, DAMMIT! Come on, it's not that hard! I mean, if you're out of your body, then what the Hell are you if you're not a ghost? Who do you think you are? Dana Skully? Seto Kaiba? Katherine Janeway?

Professor: Katherine Janeway?

Commentator: Watch that episode where she gets possessed by that demon and she's out of her body, and you'll get what I mean. (Back to Yusuke) I mean seriously, how could you not think that you're a ghost?

Yusuke: I have legs.

(Commentator falls to Earth)

Commentator: (Rising up) What-does that have to do-with anything?

Yusuke: Japanese ghosts don't have legs.

(Commentator falls to Earth again)

Botan: Well it's about time you worked it out! Greetings. My name is Botan, and I am a shinigami.

Yusuke: Aren't Shinigami supposed to wear black kimonos and hungry ghost killing katanas? Or failing that, be horrendous monsters with a weakness for apples?

Botan: (Giggles) No, silly, you're thinking of different interpretations of shinigami from different series!

Yusuke: Well now that I've died, does this mean that I'll have to become part of this game where I and others who have recently passed on hunt down and murder innocent peace-loving aliens who have just emigrated to this planet like I'm some member of a militant wing of the BNP or the Ku Klux Klan?

Botan: Once again, different series Yusuke.

Yusuke: Aww, man! And I was looking so forward to that!

Botan: Ah. It seems you're exactly like how the profile describes you!

(Reads through book)

Yusuke: AH! A DEATH NOTE! I knew it! You ended my life, didn't you? Admit it!

Botan: For the last time, Yusuke, that's a completely different series! I mean if this was Death Note, you wouldn't even exist as a ghost, now would you?

Yusuke: I guess. By the way can you tell me if that kid I saved is all right?

Botan: Oh I can do better than tell you! Now come with me, Ebenezer Scrooge, as I the Ghost of Christmas Present shall show you what is happening with the child you just saved.

* * *

Child's Mother: How is he?

Doctor: Not that it's of any consolation to you, Child's Mother, but luckily he only has a few scratches, no thanks to you.

Child's Mother: Hey! Why are you being so hostile towards me?

Doctor: Where the Hell were you when this kid was playing on his own in the street when anything could have happened? Honestly, if you were keeping better supervision over this child, or organised supervision for him, then that kid in the morgue may not have so needlessly died!

Yusuke: Come to think of it, there are a lot of unsupervised kids in anime. I hope it's not an accurate reflection of Japanese society!

Botan: I don't think this sort of situation has been repeated in any other anime!

Yusuke: Oh no? Take a look over there!

Botan: Huh?

(A cuddly toy dog falls into a river)

River: PLOP.

Girl: Oh no! My toy has fallen in the river! EEEE! (Falls into the river herself) SOMEBODY HELP ME!

Yusuke: Seriously I wouldn't be surprised if there are a lot of dead or missing children if this sort of thing really happened in Japan! I mean what kind of parent just leaves their kid unsupervised in the street? Okay that's me done ranting; now take me to Hell or wherever I'm going!

Botan: (Giggles)

Yusuke: What? My death isn't that hilarious, is it?

Botan: Oh it's not that! You see Yusuke; no one was expecting you to die today. You had such a convincing reputation as a juvenile delinquent, that no one expected you to sacrifice your life for that child! Not even the gods! We originally had you put down for a horrible and horrendous death at the age of twenty by a wave of gunshots during a gang war. Now our schedule has completely been thrown asunder.

Yusuke: Oh come on I know I'm the ultimate delinquent, but did everyone really expect to just watch and let that kid die?

Botan: Do you really want the answer to that?

Yusuke: No not really. But I thought the gods were supposed to be all-knowing?

Botan: You're thinking of the Judeo-Islamic-Christian God. Japanese gods aren't so big on the whole omniscient thing. And no this is not a pro-Christian-anti-heathen message; it's fact that even the Supreme Goddess herself was said to rely on oracles.

Yusuke: But I thought Omniscience is partly what defines a god? Or are these actually advanced alien overlords posing as gods in order to enslave the human race and take their bodies as hosts?

Botan: Yusuke, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but there is as much mythological fact in Stargate: SG1 as there is fact in 'The Da Vinci Code,' 'Legend of the Tailed Beasts', and the theory that Isshin Kurosaki changed his last name when he married Ichigo's mother!

Yusuke: Actually I think they put up a very good point-

Botan: Shut up! Well anyway the point is that because of your unexpected death, we don't actually have a place for you.

Yusuke: WHAT? So what, you were all just expecting that kid to die?

Botan: (Reading book) Well, I didn't want to be the one to tell you this, but that kid was supposed to have miraculously survive without a scratch because the driver would have swerved away just in time.

Yusuke: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, IT WAS GOING STRAIGHT TOWARDS HIM, HE WASN'T GOING TO SWERVE AT ALL! Anyway, if that was true, then how was me taking his place made the driver decide 'Okay, I won't swerve away after all'?

Botan: -Yes the writing staff thought the ball acting as a buffer didn't sound as plausible. Can't remember why. Or was it the dubbing staff? It was either one of them! However, don't worry about being a wandering spirit, Spirit World's giving you the chance to get your life back. All you have to do is pass this trial, and if you do, you will be restored to life.

Yusuke: You mean Spirit World will reverse time and alter events so that I never died at all or was only dead for a while?

Botan: What? No, we'll just put your soul back in your body weeks after you've been pronounced dead.

Yusuke: But won't people be freaked out that this dead guy's back from the dead?

Botan: Well at first, but by the next scene they'll completely recover and get completely used to the fact that you're back from the dead.

Yusuke: -You're kidding, right?

Botan: Wait for about five episodes and you'll see what I mean.

Yusuke: Well thanks for the offer but I want to stay as a ghost.

Botan: WHAT? Who in their right mind would want to stay in a state when no one can see them or they can't touch anything for all eternity?

Commentator: You know Yusuke, you could always become an assistant commentator. We have room on the team for another one, and I think you have the potential to become a brilliant commentator!

Yusuke: And what exactly does a commentator do again?

Commentator: We float around in a series, make comments when appropriate and even interact with characters when necessary. We also introduce and conclude each chapter.

Yusuke: Uhuh. What else do you do?

Commentator: We sometimes stand as well!

Yusuke: And what do you get paid for doing it?

Commentator: Absolutely nothing!

Yusuke: So yeah, I think I'll stick to being a wandering spirit.

Commentator: Hey!

Botan: Well let me see if I can change your mind. Now come with me, Ebenezer Scrooge, as I the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come shall show you your wake!

Yusuke: Hey, wasn't it daylight just now?

Commentator: You took hours just working out if you were a ghost or not.

Yusuke: Hey-what the? People are actually celebrating my death? BAH HUMBUG! I knew that people would be glad that I'm gone, but actually seeing them MAKES YUSUKE MAD! Grrr. I'm rolling in my coffin!

Botan: No actually I'm pretty sure you're just still.

Yusuke: Shut up! It's a figure of speech! But how dare these guys celebrate my death! And at my actual wake! Don't they know that not showing the proper emotion at a funeral displeases the spirit of the recently departed?

Botan: Maybe they don't believe in the afterlife and that you're just lying in your coffin so they're not offending anyone?

Yusuke: Really? But I thought the Japanese were a-? Hey, I actually hear sobs! I'm actually feeling happier now! Wait, that's-

Keiko: YUSUKE! (Breaks down)

Yusuke: -Are those tears…for me?

Botan: No she's grieving for another childhood friend whom she was in love with.

Yusuke: I was only asking.

Kuwabawa: URAMESHI!

Yusuke: Huh? Kuwabawa? What's he doing at my wake?

Kuwabawa: How dare you- HOW DARE YOU selflessly sacrifice yourself to save a little kid! YOU COME BACK FROM THE DEAD RIGHT NOW! Or at least in about four episodes! You weren't supposed to die this way! You were supposed to live up to the ripe old age of twenty before dying in a wave of bullets during a gang war!

Yusuke: Why does everyone think that's how I'm supposed to die?

Kuwabawa: WHO AM I SUPPOSED TO FIGHT NOW! (Goons drag him away). No! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Yusuke: Wow. Now I know how Lex Luthor felt when Superman died.

* * *

Lex Luthor: SUPERMAN!

Batman: Huh? Lex Luthor? What's he doing at Superman's funeral?

Lex Luthor: How dare you- HOW DARE YOU GET KILLED BY AN UNSTOPPABLE MONSTER! YOU COME BACK FROM THE DEAD RIGHT NOW! Or at least in about three months! You were supposed to live forever! No one was supposed to be able to kill you! Not even me! WHO AM I SUPPOSED TO PIT MY SCHEMES FOR GLOBAL DOMINATION AGAINST NOW! (Brainiac and Metallo drag him away) No! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

* * *

Yusuke: Wow! Even my mum is upset I'm gone!

Botan: Gasp! The woman who bore you and raised you for fourteen years is devastated that her only baby is dead! What a shocking twist!

Yusuke: Hey, shut up, anyone who saw that scene earlier with her and me would have been surprised that she cared for me!

Child: Mummy! Let's see Big Brother tomorrow!

Child's Mother: (In tears) No…there is no waking him up…

Yusuke: That's it; I'm coming back from the dead! Not just for my mum. Not just for the girl I'm just friends with. Not even just for my archrival, but for the boy I saved and his mother! Even though there's a good chance that I'll never see them again so they won't even know that I'm alive.

Botan: Well I'm glad you've changed your mind anyway. Now come with me, Ebenezer Scrooge, as I the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come shall take you to the Spirit World!

Yusuke: Will you stop it with the Christmas Carol references already?

WHACK!

Yusuke: Ow! Continue.

Narrator: And so, Yuusuke Urameshi has embarked upon a journey to get his body back! But what adventures await him in: the Spirit World?

(Starts to fade to black)

Commentator: Oooooooooh, the Spirit World. How spooooooooookyyyyyyyyyyyy!

Narrator: Shut up!

* * *

**P.S. I do not own Sanji or any DC character or anything related. I'm sure you already knew that.**


	2. Koenma Appears

**I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho or anything related.**

* * *

Commentator: Welcome back my living and spirit detective wannabe friends to the second installment of Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged (With Commentary)! Before we begin let's read through some of the reviews you've sent us. Professor! Open the shoot!

(The Professor opens the shoot, and out comes two envelopes)

Commentator: Right then! Our first review is from Amanda Fair:

Heh...funny! I loved it at the end, the bit about Kuwabara and Lex  
Luthor...funny. Great parody! You should definitely continue!

Professor: Our second review is from jdcocoagirl:

great take of the first episode and i like the humor of this. cant wait for  
more update soon.

Commentator: Anonymius would like to thank you both for your reviews. When he first posted this fic, he was discouraged over the number of hits it was getting. Your reviews however have encouraged him that it's all worthwhile. So here it is, the second chapter, 'Koenma Appears'!

* * *

Yusuke: So who's this guy we're seeing about my trial?

Botan: You probably don't know him. His name is King Yama.

Yusuke: KING YAMA? Never heard of him!

Botan: But-your expression just now-

* * *

Yusuke: So this is Spirit World, huh? Man, and I thought animation in MY world sucked! Seriously Soul Society looks a lot better compared to this!

Botan: Yeah well they're ten years ahead of us, they have an unfair advantage!

* * *

Yusuke: (I wonder what this Yama guy looks like? I bet he's huge and red and demonic looking!) (Bumps into Botan)

(Doors open)

Botan: You know for someone whose doesn't know who King Yama is; you seemed to have pinpointed his traditional depiction precisely!

Yusuke: Wait, what do you mean by 'traditional depiction?'

* * *

Yusuke: Am I high or something or is Heaven staffed by demons?

Botan: No you're not under the influence of any hallucinogen, it's because Yama is believed to be served by a bureaucracy of demons. Oh and if anyone asks, they're not demons, they're ogres.

Yusuke: No, this (Picture of Shrek appears) is an ogre! That (pointing to one of the civil servants) is a demon! As can be seen from the horns, sharp teeth, claws and bestial features.

Botan: Yeah well we're calling something else a demon in this show so that name's taken.

Yusuke: And ogre was the best the dubbers could come up with?

Botan: Well Oni in some legends do have some qualities of the western ogre, especially those Earth based rather than Hell or invisible Oni. Like those found in the tale of Momotaro.

Yusuke: Momo-who?

Botan: What kind of Japanese person are you?

* * *

Botan: Greetings Lord Yama.

Yusuke: That little toddler's Lord Yama?

Koenma: Actually I'm his son. I take care of things here while my Dad's working in Dragonball Z.

Yusuke: Then why did Botan address you as Yama?

Koenma: Because Yama is also known as Enma, and I'm 'Ko' or 'Little' Enma. Or Enma Junior. So I actually have the exact name as my dad! Sorry. The dub didn't make that particularly clear.

Yusuke: Dubs rarely make anything clear. So what's this test that I have to pass?

Koenma: This. (Takes out the egg) hold this egg and it will feed on your karma.

Yusuke: My what now?

Koenma: You know? Karma? The result of actions, with good karma or action giving you reward whereas bad action brings you misery?

Yusuke: Oh I know that! I just thought karma was this law of the universe which is like a mystical physics substitute for divine judgement rather than being a personal thing.

Koenma: You are from Japan, right? Not the West?

Botan: I'm afraid Yusuke's highly ignorant of his own Japanese heritage.

Koenma: Well that's the U.S. version for you. Anyway, Give it good karma, and it will hatch into a beast that will bring you to life. Give it bad karma, however, and it will hatch into a monster that will eat you and make you cease to exist.

Yusuke: Wait. Souls can die? Doesn't that defeat the whole notion of the soul being your immortal part?

Koenma: Well in this series it's your 'can't be killed by any mortal or magical means but it can be killed by spiritual means' part. This show wouldn't be as exciting if beloved spirit characters couldn't die, now do you want this egg or not?

Yusuke: Fine, I'll take it.

* * *

Botan: Koenma has decided to keep a pulse pumping through your body so it won't rot. This may take a while and you don't want to return to a rotting corpse, do you?

Yusuke: (Considers this) Actually being some kind of zombie might be fun!

Botan: Well you might not even get by that stage after your body is cremated.

Yusuke: WHAT? MY BODY IS TO BE CREMATED? YOU NEVER TOLD ME THAT BEFORE!

Botan: Well, this is Japan, Yusuke. People tend to cremate their dead here; I assumed you already knew that.

Yusuke: In case you haven't realised yet I'm an Americanised Japanese person. I know nothing about my country!

Botan: Well it's not like people aren't cremated in the West. So you really need to do something about it before they burn your body.

Yusuke: But if my body is alive again, won't people notice it after giving me one final look?

Botan: No because the pulse in your body is very weak. It's so weak that your body still looks dead.

Yusuke: Well that's kind of convenient! No wait. Convenient's the wrong word. What's the opposite of that?

Botan: Inconvenient?

Yusuke: Yeah that's it! Well what am I supposed to do about it? It's not like I can talk to people in their dreams!

Botan: Now Yusuke, what's one of the things that ghosts are famous for?

* * *

Yusuke: All right! Time to tell Keiko that my body's still alive instead of doing the sensible thing and giving the message to my Mum OKAY HOLD IT RIGHT THERE! I have a perfectly good reason for not telling my Mum, she's still awake and won't be asleep for three whole days! I refuse to be made fun of for making a stupid decision that I never made, like so many other characters in other parody series!

Fourth Hokage: You tell him, Yusuke!

**Heh heh heh. Sorry about that, Yusuke. Just testing you.**

* * *

Yusuke: Hey Keiko.

Keiko: I missed you. Why did you leave?

Yusuke: Leave? I never- hey, what's this ring on the floor? WAIT, I REMEMBER NOW! I GOT SHOT BY A FORMER PATIENT AND DIED FROM MY WOUND! No wait, that was Bruce Willis in 'Sixth Sense'.

* * *

Botan: Well, how did it go?

Yusuke: Brilliantly. I passed on the message that I'm still alive and that I'm coming back.

Botan: And you also told her to check your body's heart beating as proof?

Yusuke: …DAMNIT! I KNEW THERE WAS SOMETHING I FORGOT TO TELL HER!

* * *

Yusuke: This is terrific, just terrific! She still thinks I'm dead!

Botan: Aren't you just being a little pessimistic here? I mean it didn't look like she was completely convinced that you were just a dream. And even if she did, if only you told her to check your heart she may not be so skepitcal-

Yusuke: Shut up! Is there another way to tell her that I'm not dead?

Botan: Well you could try and contact her again this night and tell her this time to check your heart. Or you can possess someone and use them as a channel in order to tell Keiko that you're coming back, but that's less likely to succeed since she'll probably assume that you're a crazy person-

Yusuke: Sounds great! When do I start?

Botan: Now hold on, Yusuke. You can't just possess anyone you like like a knocked out 14-year old girl. It has to be someone with high reiatsu.

Yusuke: Reiatsu? I thought this wasn't Bleach?

* * *

Yusuke: You've gotta be kidding me. I have to possess Kuwabawa? Sigh, all right.

* * *

Yusuke/Kuwabawa: Auntie! Uncle! It's me, Yusuke! Is Keiko around?

Sammy: Keiko's Yusuke's cousin? EWWWWWWWWWWWW!

Commentator: (Whacks Sammy with a mallet) No, you stupid slug, whatever words the dubbers have translated as Auntie and Uncle can be referred to any adult whose close to you.

Yusuke/Kuwabawa: Oh great it's you guys again! I thought I was rid of you?

Commentator: Hah! I wish! You can't have 'With Commentary' without the commentators! The reason why we hadn't appeared yet is because we weren't needed yet.

Uncle: That strange kid thinks he's Yusuke Urameshi!

Auntie: And he's conversing with invisible, evil spirits!

Yusuke/Kuwabawa: Oh that's right. I'm dead and in Kuwabawa's body. I completely forgot all about that!

Commentator: Hey! I take great offence at that! I'm not an evil spirit! I'm neutral!

Yusuke/Kuwabawa: Am I the only one who can see or hear you?

Commentator: Nnot necessarily. We reveal ourselves and interact with the environment when appropriate.

Uncle: He's possessed!

Commentator: He ain't actually wrong there!

Auntie: EXORCISE HIM LIKE THEY DID IN THE MIDDLE AGES! Or whatever the equivalent Japanese era is.

* * *

Yusuke/Kuwabawa: (Okay. I've been chased and beaten up all day, but I've finally found Keiko. Now how do I let her know that it's me? Wait, that's it!) Ichigo Kurosaki is the best shonen hero ever!

Keiko: YOU IDIOT YUSUKE! (Slaps him) Oh sorry! I thought you were someone else!

Yusuke/Kuwabawa: No, I'm exactly who you think I am! Listen Keiko, I'm coming back, so don't let my mum burn my body!

Keiko: Well…what you're telling me is clearly insane…but what the hey! I'm a fourteen year old girl grieving for her childhood love, I'll believe anything!

* * *

Keiko: Um, Atsuko? This might sound clearly insane, but Yusuke's coming back-

Atsuko: HOW DID YOU KNOW?

Keiko: He told me while possessing this boy at school- wait, how do you know he's back? Did he tell you in dream? Through a random stranger?

Atsuko: No! I opened up his coffin to get a last look at him before the funeral, then I saw that colour returned to his body and that his heart was beating again. YUSUKE'S ALIVE!

Keiko: YUSUKE'S ALIVE? I'M SO HAPPY!

(The two break into tears as they hug each other)

Atsuko: Wait. Didn't you already know that he was alive?

Keiko: I o know.

* * *

Yusuke: What the Hell, Botan? I thought you said the pulse in my body was so weak that it'd still look dead?

Botan: Yeah, it looks like the pulse wasn't as weak as I thought it was.

Yusuke: You mean I possessed my archrival, got chased, beaten up, and spent the entire day looking for keiko, for nothing?

Botan: Pretty much, yeah.

Yusuke: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

**TO BE CONTINUED...**

Commentator: I say, Professor, this episode made a lot more sense in the original manga.

Professor: How so, Bakura?

Commentator: Well in the original manga, Yusuke did tell Keiko to check his heart, then she ran to his home and that was when Atsuko told her that he was still alive. That whole possessing Kuwabawa episode was about telling Keiko Yusuke's last words before he was revived rather than finding another way to tell her that he was coming back!

Sammy: (Slivers to them) Well there is one thing that made this episode better compared to the manga.

Commentator: And what would that be?

Sammy: At least he possessed Kuwabawa because he had to rather than out of a selfish desire to talk to Keiko!

Commentator: …That's true, I guess.

* * *

**P.S. I do not own the Fourth Hokage either!**

* * *


	3. Requirement of Back

**I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho or anything related.**

* * *

Commentator: Welcome back my living and spirit detective wannabe friends to the third chapter of 'Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged (With Commentary)'! Before we begin let's look at some of the reviews you sent us. Professor! Open the shoot!

Professor: No can do, Sir.

Commentator: …WHAT? I demand that you open the shoot!

Professor: Sorry, Sir, but we're over the word limit established as it is, we've got no time left for a review special.

Commentator: DAMN YOU, ANONYMIUS!

* * *

Yusuke: AH! Who are you?

Sayaka: I have been sent by Koenma to check on you and how the trial's going.

Yusuke: And of all the spirits in Spirit World he could have possibly sent he sent a little girl? And why are you in a nightdress?

Commentator: (Reading manga) You know, her character makes a lot more sense in the original manga.

Professor: Hehe, I never thought I'd see the day that you would be reading comics, Sir. Wasn't I supposed to be the nerd in our duo?

WHACK!

Commentator: (After whacking the professor with a rolled up manga comic) Besides, manga don't count! They are completely different from American comics!

Professor: Keep telling yourself that.

Commentator: (Frowning) Hey Professor, watch out for that vase.

Professor: What v-?

(Commentator whacks him heavily with a giant vase).

Sayaki: Who are these two?

Yusuke: Oh they call themselves commentators. Basically they've been following me wherever I go and making fun of my life.

Botan: Basically what I've been doing since the series began!

Kuwabawa: HEY WAIT A MINUTE! What happened to my episode? This is the one after!

Commentator: Sorry Kuwabawa. Anonymius had problems parodying your episode, so he decided to cut it.

Kuwabawa: WHAT?

Commentator: Hey, at least he wasn't as bad as the people who produced the anime! They cut like four stories worth of episodes just so they could get to the action quicker! Tell you what, Kuwabawa, we'll show three scenes from your episode, how does that sound?

Kuwabawa: Not really much be-

* * *

Kuwabawa: Okay, you can hit me all you want! I won't fight back.

Commentator: Geez, Kuwabawa. Sticking to your oath is one thing, but don't actually make it too public so that people will punch you even more!

* * *

Yusuke: Hah! What a loser for only getting ten percent!

Botan: Just out of curiosity, what did you get?

Yusuke: I got a twelve!

Botan: Well it's nice to see you conform to one stereotype of shonen heroes.

* * *

Yusuke: I know! I'll take over this unconscious girl's body in order to help my arch nemesis!

Professor: Wait; I thought he could only take over specific people with high reiatsu rather than just anyone?

Commentator: Groan, why is it that writers can never stick to what a previous writer stated? Seriously, about 99.9% of continuity errors are due to writers ignoring whatever it was the previous writer wrote and hoping the fans will just ignore or forget it! That's what I like about 24; writers can't getaway with writing anything differently in the same season!

* * *

Commentator: There. Satisfied?

Kuwabawa: Not really. And I was only in one of those three scenes!

Commentator: Well you were referenced in the other two! Now then if I was you, I should be more concerned now that you are standing in midair.

Kuwabawa: -Oh right. AAAAAAAAAAAAH!

* * *

Botan: So Yusuke, how come you haven't seen Keiko in a while?

Sayaka: Who's Keiko?

Botan: Yusuke's girlfriend.

Yusuke: SHE'S NOT MY GIRLFRIEND! WE'RE JUST FRIENDS!

Commentator: Yusuke, I don't know why you keep denying it. Everyone already knows that you're boyfriend and girlfriend.

Yusuke: NO WE'RE NOT!

Commentator: -You're being serious, aren't you? You two really are "just friends"?

Yusuke: YES! And what's with the quoting gestures?

Commentator: -That can't be right. According to Wikipedia you're- AH, DAMNIT! IT'S BEEN CHANGED! I hate it when people do that! Unless it's an improvement.

Sayaki: Hmm. I think I should check this Keiko out and see if she's a match for Yusuke. For professional reasons.

Yusuke: Why would someone sent here to check on my progress be interested in my love life?

Commentator: This is another thing that made more sense in the original manga.

Yusuke: YOU KEEP SAYING STUFF LIKE THAT!

Commentator: Because it's true.

_And so Sayaki has been following Keiko and examining her if she would make a perfect wife for Yusuke. Perhaps she should go into this business professionally? Ahem, anyway, her spying leads her back to Yusuke's house, where she takes care of Yusuke's body._

Commentator: Damnit, it's that italic speaking, nameless narrator guy again. My number six worst enemy! I swear he's been appearing in all the commentaries. Next thing you know he'll be in the Harry Potter Commentary!

(Keiko is about to kiss Yusuke's body)

Yusuke: HEY! THAT'S A VIOLATION OF MY BODY!

Sayaki: Shove a sock in it, Yusuke! And by sock I mean my fist!

Neighbourhood Watch Committee: ATTENTION, EVERYONE! THIS IS THE NEIGHBOURHOOD WATCH COMMITTEE REMINDING EVERYONE ABOUT GENERIC SAFETY REGULATIONS AND WARNINGS. THANK YOU AND HAVE A PLEASANT DAY!

(Realising what she was about to do, Keiko runs away)

Yusuke: Yes! Thank you, Neighbourhood Watch Committee!

Commentator: Ah the Neighbourhood Watch Committee. The deus and diabolus ex machina of 'Yu Yu Hakusho the Abridged Series'.

Yusuke: -Diabolus ex machina? What the heck is a diabolus ex machina?

Commentator: Well, unlike a deus ex, which is a convenient wrap up of a situation, a diabolus ex is an inconvenient creation of a situation.

Yusuke: You mean like every instance of kryptonite in Smallville?

Commentator: Pretty much.

Sammy: Oo! Oo! Hey Boss! I have a question about diabolus ex machina! Say if a random arsonist throws in a lighted can in the house, causing everything to catch on fire, and threatening to burn Yusuke's body, making him unable to ever return to the living world, is that a diabolus ex machina?

Commentator: (Considers this) I suppose it is! Well unless the existence of the arsonist is warned of beforehand WAIT WHAT?

(Everything catches on fire)

Commentator: Heh heh. It looks like you're going to be created anyway Yusuke!

* * *

Botan: This is bad! We need Kuwabawa!

Yusuke: But he's still out after his fall! How exactly did he sustain no physical injury after such a fall with nothing but a concussion?

Commentator: Peter Petrelli seemed to manage it.

Yusuke: Great. Now my body and the girl I'm just friends with are going to be destroyed by the fire! And there's nothing I can do!

Sayaki: Well, there is one thing.

Yusuke: What is it? I'll do anything!

Sayaki: If you throw your egg into the fire, the good karma will somehow extinguish the flames.

Yusuke: And you just happen to know this specific fact which would have been useless in any other situation?

Commentator: Hey, to counter a diabolus ex machina, you need a deus ex!

* * *

Sayaki: Now quickly! Throw the egg into the fire!

Yusuke: Does it have to be the whole egg? Can't it just be some of the good deeds I've accumulated?

Sayaki: Nope. The whole egg.

Yusuke: Aw, man!

* * *

Kuwabawa: Heh heh. So you're coming back, eh Yurameshi?

Commentator: You know, I kinda preferred Kuwabawa's discovery of Yusuke coming back from the dead in the original manga.

Professor: What? You mean when he accidentally bumps into Yusuke when he's temporarily back and he's completely freaked out and the state of his heart is portrayed as a beach full of nuclear missiles?

Commentator: The very same!

Yusuke: Well now that I'm stuck as a wandering spirit, maybe I will take up the Commentator's offer to become an assistant commentator.

Koenma: There's no need for that, Yusuke! You're heroic sacrifice to save the girl you're just friends with has convinced me to bring you back to life.

Yusuke: ALRIGHT!

Koenma: In about a week.

Yusuke: A WEEK? YOU'VE GOTTA BE KIDDING ME?

Koenma: Sorry Yusuke. This is a manga based anime. We do everything slow around here.

Yusuke: DAMN YOU, MANGA BASED ANIME!

ONE WEEK LATER…

Koenma: Okay, I'm back to bring you back to life!

Yusuke: It's about damn time!

Koenma: Hey! Don't be so ungrateful! If the mangaka had his way, you would have been stuck as a wandering spirit for another four episodes!

* * *

Yusuke: Hey, who's that?

Botan: An Earth bound ghost. Quite sad really. They-

Yusuke: Earth bound ghost? AAAH! Get away from her before she turns into a hollow!

Botan: For the last time, Yusuke, that's 'Bleach'!

* * *

Botan: I'll see if I can help this soul cross over. It will be difficult, though. Suicide is a terrible sin to commit.

Yusuke: Wait; I thought suicide in Japan was considered a honourable form of atonement? I though it was only Catholic countries and America that consider it a heinous sin.

Botan: Clearly the mangaka feels differently.

* * *

Yusuke: What the heck was that?

Koenma: A glimpse of what you could have experienced if the mangaka had his way.

Yusuke: Well hurry up! Bring me to life!

Koenma: Now hold on there, Amy Lee, its not that simple. Only a certain technique can restore you to your body.

Yusuke: What is it?

Koenma: You have to be kissed.

Yusuke: WHAT?

Koenma: On the lips.

Yusuke: …I have to be restored to life by someone kissing me? Do you realise how corny that sounds?

Koenma: Hey! Don't diss it! It's just like giving people CPR!

Yusuke: Actually recent studies have shown that giving people mouth to mouth isn't that effective and- (Koenma stares at him) still, the situation would make me Sleeping Beauty or Snow White!

Botan: Actually in the original tale, Prince Charming never kissed Snow White to life; it was just when moving the coffin the poisonous piece of apple fell out that brought her back to life. You'd just be Sleeping Beauty.

Yusuke: Yeah. That makes it loads better!

Koenma: Look, Yusuke, if the gender bothers you, then don't think of it like a fairy tale kiss. Think of it more like the Trinity Kiss.

Yusuke: The what now?

Koenma: You know! The kiss Trinity gave to a dead Neo that brought him back to life?

Yusuke: So in this scenario I would be Neo? COOL!

Koenma: Oh yes, and the kiss has to be done by midnight.

Yusuke: And it's gone back to corny again.

Koenma: If it's not done by midnight, then your body will stay like a vegetable for a hundred years.

Yusuke: WHAT?

Koenma: Heh heh, just kidding! Seriously now, it will be fifty years.

Yusuke: WHAT?

Koenma: So I'd advise you to tell three people you know in their dreams about what they have to do. Preferably girls your age and any you have a close bond with. Or guys if that's your fancy.

Yusuke: But, I don't know that many girls my age. Actually I know just the one!

Koenma: Then I'd advise you to broaden your tastes. Not anything incestuous, though!

* * *

Botan: Okay, I understand that Koenma told you to find three people, but why did you ask your mum? I mean Keiko I understand, and Kuwabawa if that's what you're into, but your mum?

Yusuke: Hey, when I'm about to remain trapped in limbo for half a century I'm even willing for my mum to-wait, that didn't come out right.

_And so out of the three people that Yusuke told, Keiko was the one who responded._

Kuwabawa/Yusuke slashers: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

_Oh be quiet you lot! So thankful it wasn't his mum!_

Keiko and Yusuke's lips: TRINITY KISS NO JUTSU!

Yusuke: !kaG

Botan: Well I guess now that Yusuke is back from the dead that's the end of our series. Well it was fun while it lasted. Of course I guess there's still an epilogue to do or something to tie up all the loose ends, which is probably what the last ten minutes are for-

Koenma: Don't be so sure, Botan. The ending of this adventure will lead to the beginning of an even greater one!

Botan: Isn't that just something usually said at the end of something for 'dramatic suspense'?

Koenma: Oh no. This time we mean it. The previous arc was only the beginning of an even greater series of events!

* * *

Yusuke: Man, I can't believe it's still the same episode and I'm already in a new story! And I thought all manga based anime did everything slow! Hey, who's that?

Fortune Teller Who Looks Suspiciously Like Botan: Step right up, and I shall reveal your fortune: In America!

Yusuke: Er, yeah, this is Japan, despite everyone speaking English on a daily basis. Say, why- groan, do I really have to say this?

Commentator: Do you want us to get hunted down by pitchfork wielding Abridged Series fans?

Yusuke: Fine! Ahem, say, why do I feel like you're making a reference to a certain popular parody of an anime based on a children's card ga-

Commentator: No! NO! YOU SAID THAT LAST THING ON PURPOSE!

Yusuke: Heh heh. Oh come on! What, when someone makes a Simpsons reference, they're praised for it, but when they make an abridged series reference, they're a thief??? Seriously, WTF???????

Professor: I think it has something to do with the belief that unlike television programs, internet series are not well known and that the fans feel that there's a chance a reference will be mistaken for the referencer's own joke and have credit that doesn't belong to them.

Yusuke: Oh come on! Who's going to mistake one Internet reference as the guy's own joke?

* * *

(Land of Waves Villager is browsing 'Yu Yu Hakusho The Abridged Series' on the Internet)

Neighbourhood Watch Committee Spokesman: ATTENTION EVERYONE, THIS IS THE NEIGHBOURHOOD WATCH COMMITTEE REMINDING EVERYONE OF INFORMATION LEADING TO A DEUS EX MACHINA OR ON OCCAISION A DIABOLUS EX MACHINA! THANK YOU AND HAVE A PLEASANT DAY!

Land Of Waves Villager: Hey! That guy stole MasakoX and Vegeta5986's joke!

Land of Waves Villagers: (Raise pitchforks) BURN HIM!

Villager: Hey, whereabouts does he live?

Villager 2: I o know.

Villager 3: I have an idea! Let's flag all his videos and get him kicked off Youtube? That'll teach him for trying to steal other people's material!

Villagers: HOORAY!

* * *

Yusuke: Huh. Maybe that's the real reason why Little Kuriboh, Masako X and Vegeta6986's videos got flagged.

Professor: Oh yes. That's the reason. That's why abridged series on Youtube get taken down, because people think they've stolen other people's jokes and the people in control of Youtube are too lazy to look into the accusation properly. It's certainly not because they violate copyright by distributing what they don't own!

Commentator: We've been through this, Professor! Fans implicitly have the permission to post the material from the creators-

Professor: Oh there you go again! The ultimate rationalisation of otaku, the "silent agreement"!

Commentator: The what now?

Professor: Sir, can't you see the flaw in your rationalisation? Why would any animator or artist allow their product to be accessed freely? That's like a video store clerk allowing a buyer to make copies of one of the things they bought, make it accessible to everyone for free, and stopping people from buying anything from the shop, reducing their income to that of zero!

Commenator: Yeah well, if people in Japan really do care about copyright as much as they do in the west, then how is it that people in Japan have encouraged AMVs whereas the music artists have attacked them?

Professor: THAT'S NOT BECAUSE OF DIFFERING BELIEFS ON COPYRIGHT, YOU MORON! IT'S BECAUSE OF DIFFERING INTERESTS!

Commentator: -Come again?

Professor: Think about it! AMVs only ever show clips of an anime rather than the whole thing, and the animators will think that no one is going to settle for clips rather than the whole thing, and plus with the music actually encourages people to watch the anime and is therefore an effective form of advertisement! On the other hand, by using the whole song AMV makers discourage people from buying the CDs if they can just listen to the music for free! I mean honestly, people, your videos don't get taken down because of some insane belief that posting the vid somehow makes you the owner. They get taken down because your giving out people's product for free, and depriving buyers of a reason to buy the product and decreasing the producer's income! It doesn't matter how many times you say "I don't own this", it will still get taken down if it's unoriginal! Copyright isn't just about who owns what, it's also about who has the right to distribute, and that, my friends, isn't you.

Commentator: Fair point, Professor, but you can hardly say that abridged series on Youtube discourages people from buying the DVDs, can you? I mean on one hand, they're only funny if you're familiar with the series, and on the other, even if you're not, they encourage you to watch the real series! I mean Anonymius would have never become a big fan of 'Naruto' nor have ever watched 'Yu Yu Hakusho' if it wasn't for the Abridged Series!

Professor: Okay, fair point. Altered versions that don't include the entire episode are not a threat to sales, but the unaltered, full episodes online are. I mean do you realise that anime is in decline, such as the U.S. version of One Piece being cancelled, or 4Kids shutting down or Naruto taking forever to finish in order for Shippuden to come on the air, because people watch the episodes online instead of buying them?

Commentator: Wait, hold the phone! Are you seriously trying to tell me that's the reason why we don't see much anime on T.V. anymore, why the most brilliant cartoon channel in the U.K. known as 'Toonami' got replaced with the "all new, bigger and better 'Cartoon Network Too'", why we may never get to see the U.S. version of Shippuden because they had to post it on the website that's only available in America, all because people watch the episodes online instead of buying them?

Professor: According to a recent video on Youtube, that's the main reason.

Commentator: …OH MY GOD! WHAT HAVE WE DONE? We've killed the anime industry! If that's the case then everyone should stop watching all the English versions of their favourite anime immediately! If it's an AMV, or a shortened, humorous version or something that has been altered in any way, then they're all right to watch. But if they're the whole thing unaltered which is available on DVD, then for the love of God, DON'T WATCH THE DUB ONLINE! Avoid it like the plague!

Sammy: What about fansubs?

Commentator: Oh they're all right, surely?

Professor: I beg to differ.

Commentator: Oh come on, Prof! I mean English versions are one thing, but surely you wouldn't deny people from watching something available only in Japan and which they would prefer to watch than any altered, inferior dub, would you?

Professor: -Fine then. The fansubs can stay. Unless you're Japanese that is.

Commentator: That's all I needed to hear! Now then- what were we talking about before?

Yusuke: About how Internet references need to be referenced?

Commentator: Oh right that! Yeah, I don't even know who started the fire joke! So yeah, showing where you got Internet based material is important- and a Hell lot more necessary than disclaiming stuff everyone knows you don't own!

* * *

Yusuke: So I guess that I need to give you an item of mine, right?

Fortune Teller: What? No, nothing like that! I just need to look at this crystal ball and-hey wait come back here!

Yusuke: Sorry, lady, but I have a fight to pick.

* * *

Yusuke: Hah! No one could possibly recognise me if I have a different hairstyle, wear different clothes and most importantly, wear glasses.

Commentator: Where did you get a stupid idea like that?

Yusuke: Superman.

* * *

Yusuke: Man, I can't believe Kuwabawa stealing manga! What?

Commentator: Sorry, I just find it bizarre that an ultimate juvenile delinquent such as yourself considers some rules to be followed, that's all!

* * *

Head Thug: Now then, Kuwabawa, for failing to pass the test I shall have your cat killed with a broken bottle!

Yusuke: Ain't happening!

Thug 1: Yusuke Urameshi!

Thug 2: He's alive!

Thug 3: It's a ghost!

Thug 4: It's a wraith!

Thug 5: It's a zombie!

Thug 4: Zombie?

Everyone Apart From Kuwabawa: AAAAAAH! RUN AWAY BEFORE HE HAS A CHANCE TO EAT YOUR BRAIIIIIINS!

(Yusuke chases after Head Thug)

Head Thug: No! Please don't eat my brain! It's the only muscle in my body that I'm proud of- GAK!

Fortune Teller: I see you've apprehended one of the few demons on this show that's actually a demon- and more so than others!

Yusuke: Demons? Who are you? Show yourself!

Fortune Teller: If you insist. (Discards hood in dramatic fashion)

Yusuke: OH MY GOD, IT'S BOTAN! I HAD NO IDEA! SUPER SPECIAL AWESOME PLOT TWIST!

Botan: Yes it's me, Botan, and I'm here to offer you a job as a spirit detective.

Yusuke: And I would want this WHY?

Botan: Because if you don't take the job, the series will end and you'll cease to exist.

* * *

Botan: I knew you'd see it my way! (Flies away)

Yusuke: I hate my life.

_And so Yusuke begins his life as a spirit detective. Will the series develop one of the most complex and interesting mythologies since Harry Potter? Or lose it originality and become a Dragonball Z rip-off? Tune in next time on 'Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged (With Commentary)'!_


	4. The Three Thieves

**I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho or anything related.**

* * *

Commentator: Welcome back, my living and spirit detective wannabe friends to the latest instalment of 'Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged (With Commentary)!' Now, Anonymius has something to say to all of you.

**Groan, sorry for not updating sooner.**

Commentator: Thank you, Anonymius! Now that that's out of the way it's time for business. Professor! Open the shoot!

(The Professor does so)

Commentator: Huh. That's weird. Usually that line includes, "and blank envelopes come out".

Professor: It appears that we haven't got any latest reviews.

Commentator: -Well that can't be right! Let's give it a moment!

_Twelve hours later…_

Commentator: WHAT THE HELL? WHERE ARE THE REVIEWS?

Professor: Clearly our readers did not feel that there was anything to comment on the last chapter. Either that or it could be that since we weren't able to respond to any of our reviews last chapter that people didn't see the need to send some more.

Commentator: Grrrr. Well, we might as well go to the episode.

* * *

_Well it's been a week since his revival, and Yusuke has returned to school, much to the warm welcome of his fellow students._

Student 1: Yusuke Urameshi?

Student 2: I thought he was dead?

Student 3: Is it a ghost?

Student 4: Nah, it couldn't be! Since he has legs!

Yusuke: (How little these naïve people know about ghosts!) (Stares at half of them)

Half of Student Body: (Running away) NOT EVEN HELL ITSELF COULD CONTAIN URAMESHI!

(Yusuke stares at the other half)

Other Half of Student Body: (Running away) HE CAUSED SO MUCH TROUBLE THAT THEY SENT HIM BACK HERE!

Iwagoto: (How dare you defy the laws of nature and come back from the dead! This is unacceptable! I shall make sure you'll never return to this school again!)

Atsuko: Hey wait a minute! What happened to my scene?

Commentator: Clearly the U.S. staff cut it out.

Atsuko: But why? It was such an emotional scene displaying the love of her mother for here recently revived son!

Commentator: Apparently the writers don't consider emotion as important as humour and fight scenes.

* * *

Student 1: Hey, where's Urameshi?

Student 2: Said he went to the bathroom.

Student 3: He won't be coming back!

Commentator: I must say the student body has accustomed itself to Yusuke's revival surprisingly well.

Professor: I believe that the entire student body is suffering from Sunnydale Syndrome.

Commentator: Sunnydale Syndrome? Do you mean the same syndrome when people rationalise anything supernatural they've seen and what they can't rationalise they perform selective amnesia upon themselves?

Professor: The very same.

Commentator: Hmm. Let's give it a test run. HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER THE TIME WHEN YUSUKE DIED THEN CAME BACK FROM THE DEAD A MONTH LATER?

Student 1: Died? What are you talking about?

Student 2: Yeah! That car just sent him into a coma, and he just woke up from it!

Student 3: I think if he had died we would have gone to his wake or something!

Commentator: Yep. Genuine Sunnydale Syndrome.

* * *

Yusuke: Man, how I hate gym!

Commentator: Another paradox!

Yusuke: -What is?

Commentator: Oh I just find it bizarre that a brawny guy like you hates physical activity. Or are you perhaps one of these jocks that are too cool for sports? DUCK!

Professor: Ow, my glasses! Why am I always the one who ends up getting hit?

* * *

_While Yusuke is bunking Gym, a number of students' items go missing, with blame falling on Yusuke since no one knew where he was. Before punching the teacher who insulted his mother, Koenma appears for a mission. When Yusuke tells him he is a little occupied at the moment, Koenma tells him that the culprit is right in front of him, and tells him to use the special magnifying glass, given to him between episodes that can see through anything, to see in his pockets._

Yusuke: AHA! (Takes out the items) YOU had the items!

Principal: Iwagoto, explain yourself!

Iwagoto: Clearly Urameshi placed these items in my pockets in order to frame me.

Principal: -Actually, that must be the case. It's the only way Yusuke could have known they were there.

Yusuke: -WHAT?

Koenma: -You know, that happened differently in my mind.

* * *

Yusuke: Thanks a lot, Koenma, now I've got a week in detention! Grr, how I want to get back at that teacher!

Koenma: Well how about I help you? See, while you were dead I gave your body the ability to concentrate all of your reiatsu into your finger and release it from there. I call it the Spirit Gun. It's your insignia move, equivalent to Naruto's Kage Bunshin No Jutsu, Goku's Kamehameha, or Harry Potter's Expelliarmus.

Yusuke: Sweet! I've gotta try this out! Wait, should a higher being like yourself condone the use of violence?

Koenma: Do you want to get revenge on the guy that framed you or not?

Yusuke: Yes please. HEY IWAGOTO! EXPELLIARMUS!

Finger: BANG!

Iwagoto: OOF!

Koenma: You do know that 'Expelliarmus' just disarms your opponent, right?

Yusuke: Tell that to Alfonso Cuaron and Mike Newell!

* * *

_Afterwards Koenma goes through with Yusuke the stolen items._

Koenma: They are the Demonic Sword, that can turn anything it cuts into a demon, the Dark Mirror, which can grant the user any wish, and the Hungry Globe, which can steal souls.

Yusuke: Hey, these artefacts bear an uncanny resemblance to-

Koenma: Yes. I know. They get that alot. And I'm surprised that an Americanised person such as yourself would know of those said items.

* * *

_Later that episode, Yusuke tracks down the thieves, only to be stalled by a couple of muggers._

Mugger: Hand over all your money, kid.

Yusuke: (Beats muggers up) OUT OF MY WAY, YOU FILLER CHARACTERS!

* * *

_Meanwhile in Spirit World, Koenma goes through profiles of the three thieves. Man have I missed saying 'Meanwhile'!_

Koenma: So what, Yusuke's up against a proto-Kyubbi, a mini-Vegeta and a guy with no significant parallels to other anime characters in all of anime?

* * *

_Meanwhile back in the human world, Yusuke catches up with two of the thieves and prepares to arrest them._

Hiei: Oh please, do you really expect that a fourteen-year-old kid can take on a full-grown demon?

Goki: Yeah! Wait, what? A?

Hiei: Yep. See ya, Goki.

VAMOOSH

_And so Goki takes on the form of a large ogre._

Yusuke: I've said it once, and I'll say it again, ONI ARE NOT OGRES!

Goki: Actually in Japanese folklore, Earth-based Oni rather than invisible and hell-based oni have ogre-like characteristics, so because I resemble an earth-bound Oni, the translation to 'ogre' is actually quite accurate. But you are right, in terms of Japanese mythology I'm basically the same type as the Oni who work in spirit realm, who are more like demons, even though they're more like spirit entities and I'm more physical-

Commentator: Will the two of you stop discussing the accuracies in this show and start fighting already? Leave the commentary to us commentators!

ONE EPIC FIGHT LATER...

Yusuke: Well that was surprisingly easy.

_And so, with help from Botan, Yusuke walks away from his battle._

Yusuke: Hey, where did I get this stick?

Botan: You summoned it from Hammerspace. It aids whoever is in need of it.

* * *

_Later that episode, Yusuke catches up with the third thief._

Kurama: Allow me to explain my origin story. But before I do I must ask you to refrain from making any references to a certain popular anime based around the concept of ninjas.

Yusuke: Why?

Kurama: You'll see. There was a time when I was a fearsome nine-tailed demon fox, then thanks to a hunter I was injured and sought refuge in the body of an unborn child.

Yusuke: Let me guess. You faced horrible discrimination throughout your life?

Kurama: WHAT DID I JUST SAY ABOUT REFERENCING THAT NINJA CARTOON?

Yusuke: Sorry dude, it was an easy one to make. Your origin story bears uncanny parallels to-

Kurama: But we came first! If anything, THEY ripped US off, people should be making Yu Yu Hakusho references on Naruto, not the other way round!

Yusuke: Yeah well but it's more popular, that's how it works.

* * *

Yusuke: So wait, the mirror grants you your wish in exchange for your life? That would make it completely useless in the hands of a selfish thief, right?

Kurama: I guess.

Yusuke: So why would any selfish thief want to steal it?

Kurama: Well instead of answering that I'm just going to have my wish granted.

Yusuke: Kurama, wait!

Kurama: Yusuke, what are you doing?

Yusuke: Mothers shouldn't outlive their children. So Mirror, take my life instead!

Kurama: But, wouldn't that leave your mother childless instead, and it will be even worse for her since she's already lost you once?

Yusuke: …I so did not think this throuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh!

* * *

Botan: Yusuke? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Wait hang on, if he's dead then how come his ghost hasn't materialised.

Yusuke: No, the real question is why would you be grieving for me if you're the grim reaper?

Botan: Yusuke! You're okay!

Yusuke: Yes I feel miraculously well.

Botan: Well good! That means I can do this!

Oar: WHACK!

Yusuke: OW! What was that for?

Botan: You idiot, Yusuke! Why did you go ahead and sacrifice your life like that? Didn't you realise what impact your death would have on those closest to you? Again?

Yusuke: Well excuse me for being stupidly heroic and self-sacrificial!

Botan: BUT THAT'S WHAT GOT YOU INTO THIS MESS IN THE FIRST PLACE!

Yusuke: Oh yeah!

* * *

_The next episode, Botan comes to Yusuke's school telling him that Kurama had been let off with a warning._

Yusuke: That's great! By the way, Botan, what's with the school uniform?

Botan: This is a gigai that allows people to see me that I am wearing for no reason.

Yusuke: You know, you people claim that we're nothing like 'Bleach', but I'm seeing more and more parallels every episode.

Botan: SHUT UP, YUSUKE!

Keiko: Yusuke, are you there?

Yusuke: Hey Keiko, I need you to do my homework, cos Botan and I will be doing stuff.

Commentator: Oh Yusuke. You truly are a Casanova.

Yusuke: What? What did I do?

* * *

Yusuke: Aw, man! I really screwed up big time this time!

Botan: What's the issue? I didn't think you two were even an item?

Yusuke: We're not! I mean- we are friends- but- and I do- it's complicated, okay?

Botan: And I don't think the anime helps.

* * *

Keiko: (How could Yusuke cheat on me like that! I mean I know we're weren't actually going out and all but still! Well not really.)

Hiei: Lanipator was right. You really ARE a crazy bitch.

* * *

_Later that episode, Yusuke is beeped by Botan that something is wrong._

Principal: Yusuke, get back here!

Yusuke: Um yeah. I've just remembered I….forgot to…..ummmmmm…. (Runs away) Wait a minute, I'm a juvenile delinquent, I don't need an excuse!

* * *

_Later that episode, Yusuke confronts Hiei to take back the sword as well as to save his girlfriend. Or is it his girl friend? You know what it's very confusing. Ahem, anyway, and defeats him by shooting his ray gun I MEAN rei gun at the dark mirror he brought in order to bargain with Hiei, deflecting the energy back at Hiei's back. Man that was awful! The joke I mean, not the attack._

Kurama: Ingenious, Yusuke. But how did you know that the mirror would reflect your spirit gun?

Botan: Kurama? When did you get here?

Yusuke: Oh I just remembered in class how glass reflect light and my rei gun's pretty light so I thought it would reflect.

Kurama: That- sounds more like dumb luck to me. However it must have taken you great skill to shoot at the mirror at the exact angle so that it would reflect 90 degrees at Hiei's back.

Yusuke: -Wait. Light is reflect at a certain angle? It doesn't just come back to you?

Botan: -Oh Yusuke. You truly are an idiot.

Botan and Kurama: LOL.

Yusuke: By the way, is Hiei dead?

Botan: Nno, I don't think so.

Yusuke: So shouldn't we tie him up or something before he regains consciousness?

Botan: Nah there's no need for that. We'll just leave him be so that he can commit crimes another day.

_And so, Yusuke Urameshi closes his first case. What more adventures await him? Find out next time on 'Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged (With Commentary)'!_

Commentator: Yeah, that ain't gonna happen.

Yusuke: -What? What are you talking about.

Commentator: Well…I didn't know how to tell you this, but 'Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged (With Commentary)' is being cancelled.

Hiei: (Head gets up) What? Cancelled? Why?

Commentator: Cos Anonymius lost interest in this series at this point, that's why. To be honest he lost interest the moment Yusuke's death was sorted out, and would have kept interest if your series weren't a complete fantasy rippoff of Dragonball Z!

Yusuke: So that's it? No more Commentary?

Commentator: …Die again, and we might reconsider.

THE END?

* * *

**Btw the views of the Commentator do not reflect my own. I was not pissed off that no reviews were and sent and have no desire to pressure people into doing so. It is only in the Commentator's character to like reviews and get upset about it if none are sent.**


	5. The Genkai Tournament, Part One

**I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho or anything related.**

* * *

Commentator: Welcome back, my living and spirit detective wannabe friends, to the latest instalment of 'Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged (With Commentary)'! Now, originally we were going to skip most of series and go straight to the episode where Yusuke dies and comes back to life again, but thanks to Kaori Minamino's plea, Anonymius has decided to extend the 'Yu Yu Hakusho' commentary to the end of the Saint Beasts arc. Personally, I think this is a mistake.

**You Would.**

Commentator: But I'm telling you, making changes according to what the audience want is always a bad idea! Just look at what happened to 'Heroes' when they tried to give their audience what they wanted!

**But unlike them, I'm not trying to do more than what the audience asked for, nor do I underestimate my audience and assume they're all action prone idiots, nor am I attempting to reinvent the series in an attempt that that will attract more viewers instead of turning off all of the old ones, I've just decided to give 'Yu Yu Hakusho' another chance!**

Commentator: Oh fine! I still say it's a bad idea. When our hits decrease and we get nothing but bad reviews, don't go crying to me! Now then, we would have gone on continually, but given the increasingly difficulty of parodying the series after the Beasts arc, and by doing season two we would take away what we have planned for Yusuke's second resurrection, Anonymius has decided to go on only up til the end of the Beasts arc. Now then, on with the chapter, 'The Genkai Tournament, Part 1'!

* * *

Botan: Koenma has another mission for you! It is an undercover one!

Yusuke: Not into the Spirit World, is it?

Botan: -Why would we be sending you, someone who fights demons, in the peaceful Spirit World?

Yusuke: I don't know, for some reason I thought you would.

Botan: Well anyway you must pose as someone who wants to learn the martial arts of an aged and powerful master named Genkai, and as a bonus, if you get chosen you get to learn some new and powerful moves.

Yusuke: And I would want to learn these WHY?

Botan: -Oh. I just assumed that a brawny guy like yourself would like to improve his fighting skills. Or are you perhaps one of these thugs that are too cool for martial arts? Also we need you to get her techniques before a demon named Rando does, otherwise it could spell doom for the human race.

Yusuke: Hmm. Saving humanity. Sounds important. But you know what, it happens to be on a rare three-day weekend, and I really don't want to pass it up.

Botan: Gah! THE FATE OF THE WORLD IS AT STAKE AND YOUR MAIN CONCERN IS MISSING A THREE DAY HOLIDAY WHEN YOU CAN SKIP SCHOOL ANY TIME YOU LIKE?

**Well to be fair, Botan, there is a difference. It's different when you SHOULD be in school rather than you don't need to be.**

Professor: Hey, hang on! How is it that Botan said roughly the exact same thing Sir said last chapter but Yusuke didn't hit her?

Commentator: Probably because she's a girl.

* * *

_After being convinced, Yusuke travels to Genkai's home, where he finds hundreds of people wanting to be her student._

Yusuke: Man, I haven't seen these many weirdos since that comic book convention.

Commentator: YOU? Went to a comic book convention? NERD! DUCK!

Professor: WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ONE GETTING HIT?

Yusuke: Hey, shut up you, don't you read manga?

Commentator: Well yeah, I like reading manga and watching anime, but I don't go to conventions, I have SOME dignity!

Professor: Sir, you do realise that you've probably offended many of our readers, right?

Kuwabawa: URAMESHI!

Yusuke: Huh? KUWABAWA? What are you doing here-? And more importantly, why are you in school uniform on a weekend, you nerd?

Commentator: Yusuke, I don't think you have a right to call anyone a nerd anymore, Convention Boy.

_And so Genkai appears and puts the potentials through a drawing of lots, elminating half of the candidates._

Losing Candidate: We demand that you train us!

Genkai: No.

Losing Candidate: Then die! ROAR! Hey, have you noticed we haven't moved forward an inch from where we were standing-AAAAAH! CURSE YOU, TRADITIONAL ANIME!

Genkai: Hey, you two! Why haven't you picked a lot?

Commentator: Huh? Are you talking to us? Oh we're not here to be your students.

Genkai: Then kindly get off my land.

Commentator: But-I-we…

Genkai: Either pick a lot or go away.

Commentator: (Picks a lot) Oh fine, I'll participate in your stupid lots! (Takes it out)

Lot: BOOM.

Commentator: There you see, it just caught on fire.

Genkai: (Stares at the Commentator) (Holy crap! His spiritual energy must be off the charts to do that! Just who is this guy?) You in the glasses! Why haven't you picked a lot yet?

Professor: Oh all right. (Picks a lot)

Lot: BOOM.

Commentator: Guess they don't make lots like they used to!

Genkai: (The second guy also appears to have a ridiculous amount of spiritual energy. Although not as much as the first guy. I've gotta have one of them as my student!)

* * *

Genkai: Now then, for the second trial I shall be testing your power with these arcade games. The punching game tests your spiritual strength, Paper, Rock, Scissors tests your spiritual awareness, and Karaoke tests your spirit's ability to adapt.

Yusuke: Shouldn't that last one test spiritual energy-?

Genkai: NO IT SHOULD NOT!

Yusuke: I'm pretty sure that in the manga-

Genkai: NO!

Yusuke: And what does Pacman test?

Genkai: It tests your ability to shut the hell up.

Yusuke: I was just curious, that's all.

Genkai: No seriously, it tests the person's ability to remain quiet by being hooked on the game.

_And so the candidates played the games, even the commentators who were coerced into it by Genkai, with Yusuke beating Kuwabawa in the punching game whereas and vice versa at Rock, Paper, Scissors._

Kuwabawa: All right, Urameshi, let's settle it on Karaoke!

* * *

Genkai: And now for the third test.

Kuwabawa: Wait, what? What happened to the karaoke?

Genkai: I decided to spare the audience of any bad singing from the two of you. Now then, in this forest of death there are gigantic animals-

A Couple Of The Candidates: AAAAAAAAH! (Runs away)

Genkai: -I was only kidding about the giant animals. They're all normal sized in there. Oh yes and there are a number of vicious and powerful demons and demonic plants as well.

Yusuke: Oh yeah. THAT'S better!

_In the forest, Yusuke comes across a demon bat._

Yusuke: Wait, that's Bardock? He doesn't look as Dracula-like as he does in the original manga.

Bardock: BWA! I SHALL SUCK YOUR BLOOD!

Yusuke: However the personality's the same. Man, and I thought adaptations were supposed to ruin the original material, not make it better!

Bardock: BLASPHEMY!

Yusuke: Hey, I'm saying you're better than the demon bat in the manga!

Bardock: Hmm. That is true. BUT STILL I SHALL EAT YOU!

* * *

Commentator: So, when are you going to rescue the others?

Genkai: Come again?

Commentator: Come on, Genkai, I know you didn't really intend for those people to get killed and intend to save them later!

Genkai: -Er, yeah…Excuse me for a minute.

FLASH.

* * *

_Later the survivors were told to tell everyone about themselves._

Kazimaru: My name is Kazimaru, and I am a ninja well versed in the ninjutsu art of stealth.

Yusuke: How is your taijutsu and genjutsu?

Kazimaru: FOR THE LAST TIME NINJAS DON'T LEARN TAIJUTSU AND GENJUTSU! God, ever since 'Naruto' came out everyone expects ninjas to have magical powers!

Kurama: Yes, Naruto has made life difficult for many people, not just ninjas.

Yusuke: Kurama? Where did you come from?

Genkai: And how did you get in without the front door?

Commentator: My name is the Commentator. I am an inter-dimensional warlord who seeks to rule all existence. However my favourite pastime is commentating on mediocre pop culture.

Yusuke: Who are you calling mediocre?

Professor: Hi, I am the Professor. I used to be in the independent criminal genius business until I teamed up with the Commentator, yet somehow along the way I've winded up as his servant. Yep. That pretty much sums me up.

Sammy: And I'm Sammy the Slug!

Yusuke: So one of these survivors must be Rando.

Kuwabawa: Who the Hell is Rando?

Yusuke: Damnit. I said that instead of thinking it. Well it's very hard to tell the difference in this dub given that speech and thought sound exactly the same instead of the latter sounding echoey! Even though it's a bit more realistic since no one thinks in echo.

_Later that episode Kuwabawa meets Botan._

Kuwabawa: AH! IT'S A WITCH!

Yusuke: She's not a witch, Kuwabawa, she's the grim reaper and my assistant in the spirit detective business. You see I'm a spirit detective working for the afterlife hunting down demons in exchange for being brought back to life.

Kuwabawa: ….

Yusuke: Kuwabawa?

Botan: I think you uploaded his mind with too much information.

* * *

Genkai: Next match, begin!

Yusuke: Wait, what about the people who have been beaten lying there?

Genkai: Relax, the shrine is big enough to hold a number of people.

Yusuke: Well even so, it looks like people go to the same space every time, I'm surprised no one's tripped over any of the bodies!

* * *

Burashi: You are a fool to stand against me, boy! This sword was carved out of a sacred tree and blessed, and I will use it to kill you.

Kuwabawa: Wait, hold on! Using a sacred object to kill people? Isn't that kind of sacrireligious?

_However, the sword fails to kill Kuwabawa and part of it snaps off._

Burashi: My sword didn't kill you? What kind of evil person are you?

Kuwabawa: Who ever said I was evil?

Burashi: That guy over there!

Commentator: For the last time, I was joking!

Burashi: Oh sure. Now you tell –OOF!

_Later it is Yusuke's turn, fighting Gibano._

Gibano: What are you doing?

Yusuke: Just praying for your soul.

Commentator: Say what? That doesn't sound like something Yusuke would do at all!

Genkai: (Throws a cigarette at Yusuke) Stop fooling around!

Commentator: I say Professor that bit about Yusuke fooling around didn't make any sense at all! It does–

Yusuke: You'd better not say what I think you're about to say.

(Yusuke and the Commentator exchange glances)

Commentator: IntheoriginalmangaDUCK!

Professor: DUCK!

Sammy: HERON!

Commentator: …What?

Sammy: I thought we were naming different birds?

Yusuke: Hey hold on! I'm not allowed to smoke but Genkai is?

Commentator: You're the main character, I guess the animators wanted you to be bit more of a role model for the kids watching this.

* * *

Kuwabawa: Where do those giant stats keep coming from? Wait a minute! Urameshi won the karaoke? I'm beginning to wish I stayed amnesiac.

Gibano: I have the upper hand here, Urameshi.

Yusuke: Oh come on! You can't see any more than I can!

Commentator: Has Yusuke forgotten that people can still sense each other with their spiritual awareness?

Yusuke: I mean you didn't do as well on that test than I did!

Professor: Apparently not.

Gibano: Behold my invention, which gives me the power to detect those in darkness!

Yusuke: Wow.

Gibano: I take it that you are impressed by my invention.

Yusuke: No actually I'm surprised that a brawny guy like you was able to create something intellectual. OOF! Okay. I admit. I deserved that.

Gibano: You see this helmet allows me to see the other person by detecting their spiritual energy.

Yusuke: Something technological that can detect things spiritual? But science and religion don't mix! OOF!

Gibano: Foolish Urameshi! That may be true in the west where there is a narrow minded, unswerving distinction between the natural and supernatural, but this is Japan! Science, magic and religion mix all the time!

Yusuke: Oh yeah! OOF!

_Is this the end of our spirit detective? Find out next time on 'Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged (With Commentary)'!_

* * *

_Next time on 'Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged (With Commentary)' Yusuke survives his encounter with Gibano, but he is now up-_

Commentator: DUDE!

_-What?_

Commentator: What the Hell is wrong with you? You just spoiled the fight between Yusuke and Gibano!

_Oh it isn't like anyone would have really been shocked, I mean most people who watch manga-based anime tend to have read the manga beforehand._

Commentator: Then what's the point of leaving the audience on a cliffhanger if you tell us what will happen immendiatly afterwards????????


	6. The Death of Yusuke Urameshi Again

Commentator: Hello all! Now, due to the recent takeover, namely by me, of Anonymius Productions, certain changes have been made to the future of 'Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged (With Commentary)'. Originally we were going to show you the second half of our take on the Genkai Tournament, but I have decided to skip that and do what we were originally going to do: A take on the time that Yusuke dies. Again. But before we do that let's take a look at the reviews you sent us: PROFESSOR! OPEN THE SHOOT!

(The Professor does so, and out pops seven envelopes)

Wow, we got a surprisingly large number! Well let's see. Out first review is from MeCKumSOFT:

Awesome work, really hope you continue it.

Wow, really? You thought that it was that good? Huh. Wasn't expecting that.

Professor: Our second review is also from MeCKumSOFT:

Love the work and the references to other popular parody series, but there was one thing that annoyed me in this as it did in Lanipator's abridged series. Kurama was never referred to as having gotten nine tails, just a fox demon. Yes they grow to nine tails but that takes quite some time and I sincerly doubt Yomi would be a match for him had he had THAT much power. Also I like how you make it seem like YYH rips off a lot of things when they actually rip YYH off, making it more unique than it is usually seen

Well we'd just like to show where certain ideas really came from.

Sammy: Our third review is from EricaAuksi:

Love it. I'm shamelessly bombing my cousin who hasn't seen Yu Yu Hakusho with quotes from here.

Commentator: Hooray! Our parody has become quote worthy! Ahem, I mean, our fourth review is from Kaori Minamino:

YAYY!! Thank you for going on! And don't worry, I'm sure you'll get some more good reviews and hits and everything!

And thanks for the mini-shout out! I feel special! I always did wonder about those cliffie's too. I mean, instead of leaving off with mystery, and then telling you what happens, they should just finish with what happens and leave what's coming up next a mystery.

Oh yeah, I'm good...GREAT CHAPTER!! Go Commentator and Professor! Woot!! See you next time!

Kaori ^_^

Commentator: Sounds like we have a fan, Prof!

Professor: Yes, quite. Ahem, our fifth review is from HeavenRose:

Haha, funny! I like it. And I like all the references you make to other animes and TV shows. Keep it up! :)

Sammy: Our sixth review is from jcogginsa:

you mispelled the names  
baldock  
kibano  
kazemaru  
musashi

Commentator: Thanks for the spelling tips, jcogginsa. Anonymius probably confused Baldock with Bardock from Anastasia. Anyhoo, our final review is from Master Hut:

HAHAHAHAHAHA I HAD A GOOD TIME READING THIS CHAPTER! The others didn't really hit it off with me but this one is hilarious! I love it! Just keep making them even funnier!

Wow, really? This one was better?

Professor: I guess you were wrong Sir when the writer caves in to his audience's demands it only ends in disaster.

Commentator: Well yeah I mean it did far better than either I or Anonymius ever imagined! It's probably because he only responded to directly what the audience wanted rather than guessing what they wanted.

Professor: So, will you be changing your mind about showing the second Yusuke death and continue with the Genkai tournament.

Commentator: Eh, I don't know. I was really looking forward to show this. So I will! Enjoy!

* * *

Commentator: Erm, hey Prof, where's the chapter?

Professor: Anonymius never wrote it, remember? He was going to show the next Genkai thing instead.

Commentator: Oh yeah. Well don't worry! I think I remember most of what he came up with!

* * *

_Commentator: Commentator's Log. After being away from 'Yu Yu Hakusho' for almost three years, we have finally returned to commentate on Yusuke's second death. _

Sludge: Captain, we are in viewing range of the cartoon.

Commentator: On screen Mr Sludge.

(The screen turns on)

Commentator: Ah, 'Yu Yu Hakusho'. It's been almost three years.

Shadow Witch: Shall we hail them, Captain?

Commentator: Negative, Shadow Witch. Now as is in the tradition of Star Trek instead of sending down people of lesser rank which is more appropriate myself the captain shall go down there to make contact, along with the two most senior officers after myself, that is Mr Professor and Doctor Sammy.

Professor: That would be highly illogical, Captain.

Commentator: Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realise YOU were the one with the big throne like chair!

Brainiac: But Captain! What shall we do without our chief medical officer?

Sammy: Goddamnit Brainy, I'm a slug, not a doctor!

* * *

_Commentator: Commentator's log, supplemental, we later went down to the transporter room._

Commentator: Beam us down, Tecky!

Teneko: Hooray! I'm doing something useful! I mean, aye Captain!

(One Beam down later)

Commentator: Huh. This can't be right. (Takes out communicator) Tecky, are you sure you sent us down to the right cartoon?

Teneko: Aye, Captain.

Commentator: Huh. Then it must be Sludge's fault. Mr Sludge, are you sure you had the right coordinates?

Sludge: Aye captain.

Commentator: But this can't possibly be 'Yu Yu Hakusho'! Yu Yu Hakusho has the worst animation in all of anime! The animation of this anime is really, really good!

Professor: Captain, I see a character that is undoubtedly Kuwabawa over there.

Commentator: Yeah well we all know how derivative anime and manga can be!

BOM BOM BOM CH

Professor: It appears that some battle is going on, Captain.

Sammy: Hey, what's Yusuke doing on the ground over there? Bit of an odd place to take a nap, don't ya think? I mean sleeping on a rocky surface must be really uncomfortable, plus really noisy when in the middle of a battle. Also who wears jeans in their sleep-wait a minute!

(Slivers over to Yusuke. He examines him)

Sammy: He's dead, Com.

(Dramatic music)

Commentator: Yeah, like you're an expert on whether people are actually dead or not!

Sammy: That was one mistake Boss! I took a medical training course since then! Let's see check the heart on HIS left, no heartbeat, check his pulse UNDER his wrist, no pulse, check for breathing, oh wait Boss, I was wrong! He's very much alive, I can hear loud breathing!

Commentator: (Through gritted teeth) Sam, you are at the wrong end AGAIN. And if that end is producing loads of gas, it means he's DEFINITELY dead.

Sammy: -Oh.

* * *

_Commentator: Commentator's Log, supplemental. After three years we have returned to 'Yu Yu Hakusho', to find a ver different anime. _

Commentator: What's going on? Where are we? And who are Kuwabawa, Kurama and Hiei fighting?

Professor: I think we need a recap.

Sammy: But it's already the second act!

Commentator: If Alias doesn't show the opening credits until after the first break, then we can easily have a recap in the second act!

_Previously on 'Yu Yu Hakusho', Yusuke Urameshi and his team were sent on a case to stop renegade spirit detective Sensui from destroying the barrier between the demon world and human world-_

Yusuke: Whoa whoa whoa, hold on for a sec! I thought all of the demons and apparitions I fought came from the dark part of the Spirit World?

_Yeah, that was changed in order to fit the story, we were hoping no one would notice._

Commentator: What, do the writers of 'Heroes' dub this anime or something?

BOM BOM BOM CH

Professor: Sir, you really need to let go of your grudge with 'Heroes'. Save it for the actual abridged commentary series.

_Ahem, anyway, during the battle, in order for Kuwabawa, Kurama and Hiei to increase their power, Yusuke sacrifices himself at the hands of Sensui. And now, on 'Dragonball Z', I mean 'Yu Yu Hakusho'!_

Commentator: I think you had it right the first time.

* * *

Hiei: Oh dear. Yusuke's dead.

Kurama: Yeah, but at least he died doing what he loved! Sacrificing himself for the good of others. How many times has that been now?

Kuwabawa: Plus thanks to his death we've got these cool new powers too!

Sensui: Um, shouldn't you three be a bit more upset that your friend and comrade is dead?

Kuwabawa: Sure, if this was the first time he died!

* * *

Keiko: Oh no! Puu's dead!

Commentator: Hey, who's the pokemon? Hold on, I think we need a flashback!

* * *

Koenma: Here, Yusuke! I brought the egg that contains your digimon partner with me!

Yusuke: You mean the very same egg that I threw into the fire in order to save Keiko and not a single piece was left?

Koenma: Sure. Why not. I must warn you though that there's no telling what will come out.

(Crack)

Puu: Puu.

Yusuke: WHAT THE HELL, KOENMA? I THOUGHT YOU SAID MY DIGIMON PARTNER WAS FULL OF EVIL?

Koenma: Oh that? Yeah, I made that up.

Yusuke: WHAT?

Koenma: Well you seemed pretty down about your egg being destroyed so I felt I had to tell you something. I had no idea the egg was going to come back despite being completely destroyed!

Commentator: What is it with cute anime creatures only ever being able to say their names?

* * *

Keiko: Look, Puu's evolving!

Shizuru: What will it become?

* * *

Captain: Don't you understand? If he revives the second time, coming back from the dead once was bad enough, but if he starts continuingly coming back from the dead, no one would take our series seriously and our credit would drop! Oh yes and when he awakens he will become a terrible demon and all demons are evil.

Koenma: I hate to be the one to point out the obvious but SPIRIT WORLD IS STAFFED BY DEMONS! ENMA HIMSELF LOOKS DEMONIC!

Captain: Pfft, those are bureaucrats and politicians, they don't count! Now stand aside, we must protect the series! As well as stop a terrible threat from emerging.

Puu: PUU!

Squad Member: Gasp! A deus ex machina!

Koenma's Companion: Who's that pokemon?

Koenma: It's Puu!

Puu: Puu!

Yusuke: !kaG

Captain: Noooooooo! Our series is ruined! RUINED!

Yusuke: Oh relax, if characters constantly coming back from the dead was so unpopular then 'Dragonball Z' would be regarded as the worst anime ever created!

* * *

Yusuke: I'm back!

Sensui: Enough with this coming back from the dead already!

Yusuke: Now let's have a 'Dragonball Z' styled showdown!

Sensui: Is there any other style on this show anymore?

BOM BOM BOM CH

* * *

Sensui: Now Yusuke you shall die! For the third time.

Raizen/Yusuke: Not a chance.

Sensui: Wait, what's happened to you?

Raizen/Yusuke: My name is Raizen. I am the atypical dark side of the main character character found in anime.

Sensui: The what now?

Raizen: You know, characters like Yami Yugi, the kyuubi, Hollow Ichigo, Gutz's dog demon, the evil spirit inside a character that tends to be stronger than him?

Sensui: OH RIGHT! I'm f***ed now, aren't I?

Raizen/Yusuke: Yep.

Sensui: GAK!

_And so Sensui is defeated, the barrier is secured, and everyone returns home. Meanwhile Yusuke struggles with his newfound demonic side._

Commentator: Well this episode seems wrapped up (Takes out communicator) Beam us up, Tecky!

(Familiar beaming sounds occur as the Commentating trio dematerialise. Once on the ship, it flies away)

Commentator: _Fanfiction. The final frontier. These are the voyages of the inter-dimensional ship-er-you what, I haven't decided on a name yet! It's continuing mission, to delve in strange, bad franchises. To seek out new shows and new animations. To boldly mock when no one has mocked before!_

(Ship goes into hyperspace)

* * *

Commentator: Bam, bababam, bababam, bam bam, bababababababambam, bababambambam! (Notices that everyone is staring at him)

Professor: What was with the Star Trek theme?

Commentator: I had recently watched the new Star Trek movie and was in a Star Trek mood. Well not too bad a chapter I thought!

Professor: Wait, wasn't that TNG you were humming? Wouldn't have TOS been more appropriate?

Commentator: I prefer the TNG one. It's much more cooler. I think TNG isn't appreciated enough.

Sammy: BLASPHEMY!

(Jumps at the Commentator)

Commentator: (Knocking Sammy aside) Shut up, Sammy!

* * *

Professor: (Hello everyone! Apologies for skipping the Genkai tournament! Anonymius did plan to continue, but then my master got pissed off with him for excluding him from a Doctor Who, then siced a genetically altered killer plant on him, and was convinced that parodying the Genkai Tournament was a mistake. There's a chance that the Commentator will restore it after seeing how well we were doing, but I fear that he may just end it with the Epilogue, and once that happens, there's no going back. So if you wish for 'Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged (With Commentary)' to continue then please, send your support to free Anonymius from the strangling plant so that he can regain control of Anonymius Productions! Remember, the fate of 'Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged (With Commentary)' Rests in your han-)

Commentator: Hey Prof! What are you doing?

Professor: Nothing, Sir! (Oh yes and **Anonymius does not own Yu Yu Hakusho or anything related. **The Commentator has decided that disclaiming in every chapter is rather pointless, and though I agree with his logic, I do not want to risk getting taken off the website!)

* * *


	7. Epilogue

Commentator: Welcome back, my living and spirit detective wannabe friends, to the final instalment of 'Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged (With Commentary)'. Ever. After some careful consideration, I have decided to end YYHA(WC) with the Epilogue.

Professor: WHAT? But Sir, there is so much humour to get out of the series from the other episodes!

Commentator: That may be so, but the second part to the Genkai Tournament has been really difficult to write, so I have decided that it's best just to be done with it all. Besides it'll be really odd if we were to go back to the tournament after skipping to Yusuke's death.

Professor: IT WAS ALSO ODD HOW WE JUST SKIPPED IT AND THE REST OF THE SERIES!

Commentator: Well there's that but it's final. All we need to do now is respond to the last of our reviews. PROFESSOR! OPEN THE SHOOT!

(The Professor does so, and out pops four envelopes)

Commentator: Right then! Our first review is from Jcogginsa:

here prof,havec some insta-liquid plant killer to save i'll shoot comm with a tommy gun to distract him

-Hey Prof? What's he talking abou-?

BANG

Professor: Thanks, Jcogginsa! I knew I could count on your participation! (Prepares to throw the liquid on the plant, then stops) Oh no. I can't do it. I never intended to actually do the deed, I was counting on someone else to get their hands dirty!

Sammy: I'll do it! (Leaps to get the bottle) Whoops! (Knocks it out of the Professor's hands, then it smashes on the ground, killing only a root of the plant)

Commentator: Et tu, Professe? Et tu too, Sammy?

Professor: I'm sorry, Sir, but someone had to stop you! Becoming undisputed master of Anonymius Productions has made you insane! More so than usual!

Sammy: And I just wanted to do something!

(The Commentator looks at them, then clicks his fingers and an electrical field forms around them)

Commentator: I can't believe you betrayed me, Professor! Again! As for you, Jcogginsa- (Raises his finger, which starts to charge up with electricity) hey Yusuke! Wanna see a real raygun? (An electrical ball a number of times larger than the commentator has appeared on his finger. Everything blurs like on an anime) FINGER BANG! (Ball shoots off, and blasts through the wall).

Commentator: There. That should reach Jcogginsa in a matter of minutes.

_The Commentator has just emitted a lot of energy! Attack him while he's weakened!_

The Clock and The Lawyer: VIVA LA RESISTANCE!

Commentator: And what can you lot actually do?

(The resistance stops)

Resistance: _ERRRRRRRRR….._

_All I can do is narrate._

The Clock: AND ALL I CAN DO IS TING.

Lawyer: I could sue you, but nothing that can actually stick.

(The commentator creates a ball as large as the previous one in his hand)

Commentator: LIGHTNING BALL OF DEATH!

(Throws it, it bounces off the ground and hits the resistance, sending them blasting through the roof and into the air)

The Clock and The Lawyer: LOOKS LIKE THE RESISTANCE IS BLASTING OFF AGAIN! TWINKLE.

_Ha! I'm unharmed! You can't harm a narrator!_

Commentator: True, but you can't influence events either.

_-No…_

Commentator: Now then -(Walks up the steps with his hands behind his back. He brings up his right hands and incinerates the remaining reviews).

Professor: Sir, no! You love reading reviews!

Commentator: True, but I love power more, and I'm not risking that to be disrupted.

(Booth turns black, and the throne becomes more evil looking)

Commentator: There shall be no more reviews-apart from those that the design of my gold statues will be based on. And I shall also tighten up security here.

(A number of robotic troopers appear)

Commentator: I will end YYHA (WC). I will not have a feature lengthed chapter of NA (WC), AND I WILL-actually I don't know what I will do with HA (WC). I'll just keep excluding the Itallic Narrator Guy.

Professor: What have we done? He's become evil! (Sammy looks at him) As opposed to neutral.

Sammy: Ohhhhhhhhh.

Professor: He's completely gone over the edge! Again! Oh if only Anonymius had never excluded him from Doctor Who Abridged, this may never have happened. !

Sammy: I don't suppose we're suddenly going to discover a way to go back in time, convince Anonymius to include Boss in Doctor Who Abridged, and prevent any of this from ever happening?

Professor: Don't be daft! Changing history won't solve our problems this time!

Sammy: - Are you and the Boss continually referring to events that I don't remember?

Professor: Besides it would mean a lot of reposting and this whole 'Commentator taking over Anonymius Productions' has been rather popular.

Sammy: This is terrible! All terrible! It's like a bad dream! A dream…a dream…a dream…

Professor: Sam, what are you doing?

Sammy: Huh. Usually when a character does that, everything wobbles and he or she wakes up and it all turns out to be a dream.

Professor: -Yeah, that would be a really lame way to solve all of this. 'It was only a dream'.

Sammy: WAAAH! Oh Professor! I had the most horrible nightmare! Anonymius posted a Doctor Who parody and he didn't include Boss and-

Professor: Sam, you are still awake, it was not a dream, and you pretending it was isn't going to make it go away!

Sammy: -Then he went ballistic and set a strangling plant on Anonymius and-

Professor: (Great. I'm the only sane commentator left.)

Commentator: Now then. Time to end the series.

Professor: SIR, I BEG OF YOU! DON'T DO IT! DON'T FORCE ME TO USE MY TRUMP CARD!

Commentator: -No trump card can stop me now! And without further ado, here's the 'Epi-'

Professor: DARREN! WE NEED YOU!

Healer: You rang?

Sammy: Yay! It's the Healer! -Took over Anonymius Productions and got rid of the Clock and-

Commentator: Darren? DARREN? You conspired with my worst enemy?

Healer: You need to be stopped, Bro.

(Pulls out his mallet from hammerspace, then throws it like a boomerang. It hits the electrical field and disperses it. Then it follows the lightning blast aimed at Jcogginsa and knocks it elsewhere. Then it flies round, neutralises the lightning blast that blew the Clock and Lawyer away and carried them to safety back at the booth and returning to the Healer's hand).

Professor: That was a little convenient, but I'll take it.

Commentator: (Slams his fists on the arms of his throne) How dare you defy me! Just wait until Zorc hears about this!

Healer: Will you stop confusing lines with those from Yu-Gi-Oh Abridged?

Commentator: I've tried, they're just so catchy. Oh anyway, time to get rid of you.

(Charges up his hands)

Healer: (Points his mallet at the Commentator) You will release Anonymius.

Commentator: (Cackles) Oh? And what makes you think that I'll just do whatever you say?

Healer: Because if you don't-I'll tell everyone here reading this your real name.

Commentator: -You wouldn't dare!

Healer: Watch me, W-

Commentator: STOP! Okay, I surrender, Anonymius can go, just don't tell everyone what I'm really called!

**Well it was fun while it lasted.**

Commentator: Wait, what? You mean to tell us you could have escaped from that strangling plant at any time?

**Could have? Com, I've gotten out of that plant every time a fic has ended, you didn't really think that I've been trapped all this time and no one has noticed?**

Commentator: Well then how come you've just pretended to be ensnared?

**Because I was interested to see where this was going.**

Commentator: -So, if you intentionally let yourself be ensnared, does that mean I get off scotch free?

**Hahahaha no! **(Clicks fingers)

(Poof)

Commentator: Tweet tweet-? TWEET TWEET TWEET TWEET TWEET TWEET?

**There, now you are to stay in that form for as long as I was apparently ensnared! Which was about a month and a half.**

Sammy: Hooray! Everything's back to normal!

Italic Narrator Guy and the Clock: _AND WE'VE GOT OUR JOBS BACK_!

Lawyer: And we can go back to disclaiming everything, whether we needed to or not!

**Okay everyone! Now that I'm officially free, I can stop YYHA from ending, and return to the Genkai tournament. It will come out in a fortnight. Now then guys how about we read the remaining reviews?**

Professor: But the Commentator destroyed them all!

**I have copies.**

Professor: Oh right! Well, this one is from Master Hut:

Hey another great chapter! Good job guys ...or just guy...*cough* commentator*cough* hehe I do find it kinda funny that the commentator took over by setting some killer plant for Anonymous. XD

**-Yes it was very hilarious.**

Sammy: Our third review is from MeCKumSOFT:

I'm actually kind of glad you skipped the rest of the Genkai Tournament xD I liked seeing this as it's easily one of the most epic moments. I'm a little surprised you didn't point out that in the manga Koenma just takes some of Yusuke's 'virtues' out instead of Yusuke just destroying the egg.

I loved the whole 'least he died doing what he loved' xD He does do that alot, does it at the end of the manga as well but he survives that luckily.

Professor: Wait a minute, we did point out how in the manga Koenma just uses some of the virtue wherease in the anime yusuke destroys the whole egg, it's when he asks "Does it have to be the whole egg? Can't it just be some of the virtue that I've accumulated?" Anyway, our fourth and final review is from Haruko Kurimasu:

Are you... a Star Trek geek? O_o

BEAM US UP SYLAR!  
*runs away*

I think I know how we can save Anonymius, Professor! Remember the Devil's Snare from Harry Potter? A bit of fire will kill it! *Pulls out wand* INCENDIO! *flames bounce back* SAY WHAT?! Gah, the Commentator must've KNOWN I would use fire magic! Er, gotta think of something...

Commentator: -Tweet tweetweet tweet tweet tweet tweetweetweet tweetweet tweet tweet.

Sammy: -What did he say?

Professor: He said that he never set up a barrier around the plant.

Sammy: -Oh.

**And no I'm not a star trek geek.**

Professor: Well that seems to be everything. So see you all in a fortnight's time!

Sammy: You know I do wonder. If Boss didn't set up a barrier around the plant, and you didn't set up a barrier around the plant, and I didn't set up a barrier around the plant, then who did?

Professor: I'm sure it will be revealed soon. Oh and before I forget-

Commentator: Tweet. Tweet-

Professor: **Anon-**

Commentator: -Tweet-

Professor: **-y-**

Commentator: -Tweet.

Professor: **-mius does not own 'Yu Yu Hakushou' or anything related.**

Commentator: TWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET!

* * *

In an underground chamber somewhere, a bat like creature flew in in front of a shadowy figure sitting on a throne.

"Bad news, Boss," The bat apologised, "I've just found out that Anonymius got freed from the plant."

"**WHAT? IMPOSSIBLE! HOW DID HE ESCAPE?"**

"Well apparently he could escape at any time so , he just pretended to be ensnared to see where the Commentator as head of Anonymius Productions was going. But it all ended when the Healer threatened to expose the Commentator's real name if he didn't step down and now he's a canary."

"**CURSES! FOILED AGAIN BY A CHARACTER'S EMBARRASSING NAME! LITTLE DOES HE KNOW THAT IT WAS I WHO GAVE THE MAD SCIENTIST THE SEED THAT GREW TO BECOME THE STRANGLING PLANT THAT THE SCIENTIST GAVE THE COMMENTATOR. I EVEN SET UP A BARRIER AROUND IT TO REPELL ANY MAGIC."**

"Erm, yeah Boss, I know all this. Why are you telling me?"

"**MY PLAN TO SUBDUE ANONYMIUS HAS FAILED! NO MATTER. SOON, MY TIME WILL COME AND I'LL RULE ALL OF Fanfiction Dot Net. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"**


	8. The Genkai Tournament, Part Two

* * *

**I do not own 'Yu Yu Hakushou' or anything related.**

* * *

Commentator: Tweettweet tweet tweet tweetweet tweet tweetweet tweetweetweet tweetweetweet tweet tweetweetweet tweetweetweet tweet 'Tweet Tweet Tweetweetweet Tweetweet (Tweet Tweetweetweetweet)'! Tweetweet tweet tweettweet tweet tweet tweet tweet tweet tweet tweet tweet tweetweet tweet tweet tweet tweet. TWEETWEETWEET! TWEETWEET TWEET TWEET!

Professor: For those of you who can't understand Squabblehawk, allow me to translate. "Welcome back my living and spirit detective wannabe friends to another installment of 'Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged (With Commentary)'! Before we begin let's take a look at some of the reviews you've sent us. PROFESSOR! OPEN THE SHOOT!

(The Professor does so, and out pops four envelopes)

Professor: Right then. Our first review is from Jcogginsa:

The raygun bounces off jcogginsa's chest like nothing  
Jcogginsa:There's only one thing to mence ** Fight Music  
(hands commentator an asskicking while the mortal combat theme plays in the background)

Commentator: -Ow.

Professor and Sammy: AHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!

Commentator: (Gets up) Well two can play at this game!

Professor: Sir, no! You're in no condition to fight!

Commentator: It's true that being a canary has limited my martial prowess, but that doesn't stop me from using my magical powers!

(Beak charges up)

Professor: Oh Sir, not again, not the 'Lightning Ball fire!' thing!

Commentator: This is something completely different!

Professor: -What is it?

Commentator: Fulgur-SEMPRA!

(The Commentator fires a continuous bolt of lightning, frying Jcogginsa)

Commentator: You're turn, Mr Jcogginsa.

Professor: -O-kay...Anyway, our next review is from Master Hut:

Oh ho ho. Looks like we have a new evil mysterious character at the end. Can't wait to see where that goes. ^^ oh and EPIC chapter guys! I loved it!

Commentator: Evil new character? What evil new character?

Professor: Don't ask me, Sir, I don't know what he's talking about, either. Anyway, our third review is from Selena Antares:

Hahaha! Excellent!

Although... why is it that the Commentator always turns into a canary, of all things?

Commentator: (Eyes shift from side to side) Errrrrrrrrr...It's because Anonymius found it so hilarious the first time, that it should be done again!

Professor: Our final review is from Ellie Bronte:

Alright, at times this abridged is kind of funny but your references needs revising because Kurama and Naruto's situations are really differenti n a lot of ways, and Kurama has 6 tails. The only comparison they really have is that they are foxes. And the references to bleach is funny at the same time Yu Yu Hakusho came first so you really should be ripping on Bleach instead of hacking at an anime that was obviously popular in its own time. Yu Yu Hakusho was like the Bleach of back then, so it's not right to say that one is better than the other. Oh and leave the Lanipator jokes to Lanipator... i think we're all aware of the jokes he made we don't need a recap.

Professor: -Wow. A negative review. We rarely get those.

Commentator: Did Kurama only have six tails? I could have sworn he had nine!

Professor: Well, let's check. (Reads the manga)

Clock: TING!

Professor: What the-?

Clock: YOU'RE OUT OF TIME.

Professor: -Didn't you get the memo?

Clock: WHAT MEMO?

Professor: You've been given the sack.

Clock: -WHAT? WHY?

Professor: Well after the Commentator took over and introduced unlimited reviews, Anonymius realised that there was no harm to responding to all reviews. Apart from when it seems that we have a different scene beforehand, making it take forever and putting off fans from sending their comments next chapter, completely making problems for him when he meant for a certain pair of big bads to answer our reviews instead.

Clock: -THIS IS AN OUTRAGE! I TRIED TO FREE HIM SO THAT I WOULD GET MY JOB BACK!

Commentator: Haven't you ever read 'Animal Farm'? The government you put in place eventually becomes the very regime you tried to overthrow!

Clock: AAAAAAAAAAAAAH! IF ANYONE WANTS ME, I'LL BE DOWN AT THE PUB, OH WAIT! I GUESS NO ONE NEEDS ME ANYMORE! (Storms out and slams the door)

Sammy: Well he took that very well!

Commentator: -Y-yes. So Professor, how many tails does Kurama have?

Professor:It seems that he has even less tails than six.

Commentator: Yeah well nine tails, six tails, five tails, does it really make a huge difference?

Professor: According to this reader, it does.

Commentator: Yeah well you know how I feel about the audience's opinion.

Professor: That you don't listen to it unless it speaks positively about you and gives you ideas on what your appearance should look like?

Commentator: Exactly! And you know I hardly think that they're both foxes is the only comparison. Well it is apart from the fact that they're both multitailed, they're both infamous, they're both powerful and were taken down by a human and sealed in the body of a human baby, but if that weren't there we wouldn't even make the naruto reference in the first place. We're not saying they're exactly the same, just that there are similarities. And about the Bleach references, as Yusuke phrases it in that very same chapter 'It's more popular, that's how it works'. Now finally, what Lanipator joke is she talking about?

Professor: Hold on, let me check. Well, out of all the references we've made to Lanipator's Yu Yu Hakushou Abridged, the only one I could find in our series was when Hiei says 'Lanipator was right. You really ARE a crazy bitch!'

Commentator: Oh right, that. Well, Anonymius was reluctant to put that in, but felt it was the only way to give the chapter proper continuity. Well that's all of the reviews, so here's the next chapter!

* * *

Botan: Come on, Yusuke, keep a stiff upper lip!

Yusuke: (Struggling to get up) (I'll give you a stiff upper lip you-)

Gibano: And now for the final blow!

Yusuke's Finger: BANG!

Gibano: OOF! But how? How did you detect me?

Yusuke: Well, as a detective I guess it is my duty to explain the mystery. Look on your belt. While you were talking I planted the cigarette that Genkai threw at me on you so that I could see you.

Gibano: That was- wait a minute, that doesn't make any sense at all!

Yusuke: Come again?

Gibano: You're seriously trying to tell me that you had the cigarette the whole time, and that it didn't cinder any of your clothes? Also wouldn't it have burnt up by now?

Yusuke: Huh. I guess that doesn't make much sense.

Genkai: Next match: The Commentator versus the Professor!

Commentator: Er, I'm afraid that I've had to forfeit, being now I'm not in a good form.

Genkai: -When the Hell did you turn into a canary? Oh fine, the Professor wins by default!

Professor: Oh goodie.

_Later the semi-finalists go outside, where Yusuke battles Kazimaru._

Kazimaru: SHURIKENS OF DEATH NO JUTSU!

Yusuke: I thought you weren't anything like the ninjas in 'Naruto'-?

Kazimaru: SHUT UP AND DIE!

Yusuke: Hah! You missed.

Kazimaru: By the way, did you ever watch 'Spiderman'?

Yusuke: Well yeah, who wouldn't?

Kazimaru: Remember the time when the Green Goblin threw those blades at Spiderman in that one scene?

Yusuke: Oh yeah, Spiderman dodged them then they just came back- oh right. OW! All right. There's nothing for it!

Commentator: He's going to sacrifice himself? Again? Seriously, what's wrong with this kid? This is like the third time he's tried to sacrifice himself! I swear he almost has as high suicidal tendencies as Optimus Prime!

_However Yusuke suddenly disappears, and Kazimaru gets impaled by his own sword, metaphorically speaking. While searching for Urameshi for over a minute, it becomes clear that he is in a marsh._

Botan: I'm impressed you were able to be in there for such a long time? Why were you?

_With Kazimaru gone, it becomes clear who Rando is._

Sammy: So Shorin is really Rando? WHAT A SHOCKING TWIST!

Commentator: Nnot really. I mean it tends to be the most insignificant person . I mean look at his scores! They're barely above the pass marks! It was clearly him! Now someone not too strong nor not too weak, THAT would have been more shocking!

Yusuke: I don't get it. Why would Rando take on such an unimpressive form?

Commentator: I would have thought that someone who had once adopted the Superman-style of disguise would understand that a powerful being's greatest disguise is that of someone who's insignificant.

Botan: Yusuke, you've got to warn Kuwabawa about Shorin, but remember, don't mention anything about demons!

Yusuke: It's a little late for that, don't ya think? I mean I've already told him everything about demons and spirit world and spirit detectives, haven't I?

Botan: Oh yes that's right.

Oar: WHACK

Yusuke: Ow! What was that for?

Botan: YOU IDIOT, YUSUKE! WHY did you go ahead and tell him everything? Does the term 'undercover' mean nothing to you?

Yusuke: Hey, you're the one who revealed your oar, remember?

Botan: -Oh yes! Heh heh, whoopsie!

Yusuke: (Damn dumb bluenette!) Hey Kuwabawa, you remember that demon I told you about?

Kuwabawa: Yeah. What about him?

Yusuke: Well, I think that it's your next opponent.

Kuwabawa: Well, despite your logic I'm gonna fight him anyway.

Yusuke: Wait, what? Where's your force awareness or something that enabled you to sense the demon in the first place?

_And so, Kuwabawa faces off Shorin, who is charging some sort of attack._

FIVE MINUTES LATER…

Kuwabawa: Will you just do the technique, already?

Shorin: Sorry. In the manga, I could perform it instantly, but manga-based anime decreases the speed by a thousand times. Ah here it is! FIRE BALLS FIRE!

Genkai: Wait a minute! I've seen that technique before!

Yusuke: Come again?

Genkai: Only two psychics have ever been known to do that! And they lived centuries ago!

DUMDUMDUUUUUUUUUM

Yusuke: Well that just proves it. Shorin is definitely- wait a minute, how could you possibly recognise the technique if it was created centuries ago?

Genkai: Haven't you ever heard of a book?

Yusuke: I'm just saying revealing Shorin as Rando because the psychics lived centuries ago doesn't make much sense, what was wrong with the rumour that they were killed by a demon recently?

_And so, Shorin charges up another attack._

Kuwabawa: Oh I'm sick of this! DIE! What the? AH! Honey, he shrunk the kid!

Shorin: Okay, just for that, you get your bones broken!

_After defeating Kuwabawa, Shorin faces off Yusuke, and charges another attack._

Yusuke: Oh I'm not waiting for this! TAKE THIS!

_Yusuke sends Shorin crashing into the ground, forcing him to reveal his true identity and power. He later hangs Yusuke up on a tree, and summons something in the swamp below._

Rando: These are fish from the darkest part of the spirit world!

Yusuke: Don't you mean the demon wor-

Rando: SHUT THE HELL UP! Now to show what will happen to you, here's an example! (Throws a demon in the swamp. moments later bones rise)

Yusuke: You know, for so-called apparitions you seem to have bones just like any old morta-

Rando's Finger: BANG!

(Yusuke plummets into the swamp)

Botan: Don't just stand there! Help him!

Genkai: If you're so intent on him being saved, then why don't you help him?

Botan: What, and get my hair all dirty? Do you have any idea who difficult this blue hair is to keep- Hey, what's that coming out of Kuwabawa?

Genkai: It appears to be his soul coming to Yusuke's aid to give him encouragement. I bet it's filler.

Botan: (Reading the manga) Nope, it's definitely canon.

Genkai: Oh. Well that's all right then!

_After being goaded by Kuwabawa in a vision, Yusuke breaks free and leaps out of the swamp, banging Rando. No. Not in that way- sending him plummetting in the swamp. However, Rando quickly recovers and hits Yusuke. He then prepares to make him shrink._

Rando: Wait, what? AH! WHY AM I THE ONE WHO SHRUNK?

Genkai: Foolish demon. Have you forgotten that unlike in western pop culture where anything magical that happens is given no explanation, anime mixes magic and science together?

Rando: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

Genkai: You don't make people shrink just because of an incantation! The sound enters the ear and affects the cells that way.

Rando: WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING?

Genkai: Yusuke's ears are clogged up from the swamp, preventing him from hearing and letting the incantation enter his body, so with nowhere to go, it returns to the closest person, meaning-you.

Rando: WHA?

_And so Yusuke defeats Rando, and is declared the winner!_

Genkai: Oh no he hasn't!

_- Say wha?_

Genkai: The Professor has yet to fight! I was saving him for the final round!

Professor: You were?

Yusuke: So I have to fight someone else? Oh- (Faints)

Genkai: Oh. I guess he forfeits. THE PROFESSOR IS THE WINNER!

Professor: Oh. Yay?

Dahaka:_** Hold it, stop everything!**_

Genkai: -Who are you?

Dahaka: **_I'm the Dahaka, guardian of the timeline. This guy shouldn't even have entered!_**

Genkai: Oh. I guess that Yusuke wins, then.

THE END

* * *

Clock: GIVE ME YOUR CHEAPEST, STRONGEST, LARGEST DRINK!

Barkeep: You don't need to shout.

Clock: I'M NOT SHOUTING! THIS IS MY NORMAL SPEAKING VOICE!

Barkeep: Sir, if you don't calm down, I will have to bar you.

Fullmetal Alchemist Manga: Relax, Barkeep. He's all right.

Clock: FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST COMIC? WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

Fullmetal Alchemist Manga: I've been down here for a good deal of the year!

Clock: Well you didn't miss much. Your dad took over Anonymius Productions, and later became a canary, but that's about it.

Fullmetal Alchemist Manga: So what brings you down here?

Clock: I GOT THE SACK. AFTER LOYALLY SERVING ANONYMIUS PRODUCTIONS FOR MONTHS, HOW AM I REPAID FOR MY HARD WORK? BY BEING TOLD "SORRY, WE DON'T WANT YOU ANYMORE"! IT'S ALL THE COMMENTATOR'S FAULT! IF HE DIDN'T TAKE OVER AND INTRODUCE UNLIMITED REVIEWS THIS WOULD HAVE NEVER HAD HAPPENED! WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO NOW? MAKING SURE THAT THE COMMENTATORS DON'T TAKE TOO LONG ANSWERING REVIEWS WAS WHAT I WAS CREATED FOR! WELL, ACTUALLY IT WASN'T. I WAS ORIGINALLY CREATED TO MAKE SURE THAT THE POTTER GANG ONLY TOOK TEN MINUTES TO ACT OUT THE BIG 'REVELATION SCENE' IN PRISONER OF AZKABAN, BUT TIMING THE COMMENTATORS BECAME MY PURPOSE!

Fullmetal Alchemist Comic: You know my series was supposed to be continued! Then he told the readers just wait for a month, we'll be right back! And do you know how long it's been? SEVEN MONTHS!

Clock: OUCH.

Fullmetal Alchemist Comic: He's just as bad as Neighbourhoodcluck Productions, who promised their viewers a third film, then throughout the year kept saying "We're almost done, we're almost done, we just need to do a little mixing", then telling us thaT Dragonball Z movies is dead! Without actually making it official! They just acted like it was obvious! ItouchedYusuke's a total bitch!"

"DO YOU THINK SHE'S READING THIS?"

"I hope so! Then maybe she'll mistake our views for Anonymius and get upset with him and-hey?"

"WHAT?"

"Have you noticed that the atmosphere here has changed?"

"**I HEAR THAT ANONYMIUS HAS BEEN GIVING YOU PROBLEMS. I SYMPATHISE."**

**"**Who are you?"

"**BARKEEP, I'LL HAVE SOME EVIL TEA."**

**"**Um, we don't actually serve that here. Try Vegeta 2996 and MasakoX's-"

The shadowy figure slammed his fist on the side.

"**I SAID I'LL HAVE SOME EVIL TEA, AND I SHALL HAVE IT NOW!"**

The barkeep quickly prepared a cup of evil tea and passed it to the shadowy figure.

"SO YEAH, WHO ARE YOU?" The Clock asked.

The shadowy figure sipped his tea, even though he didn't have a mouth.

"**YOU CAN CALL ME BIOS."**

**"**You mean like the computer system that checks that all the hardware is functioning properly on the computer?**"**

**"YES THE –WAIT WHAT NO, I'M NOTHING LIKE THAT! AHEM, ANYWAY, I HAVE HEARD HOW ANONYMIUS HAS TREATED YOU. JOIN ME, AND TOGETHER, WE SHALL OVERTHROW ANONYMIUS AND TAKE OVER ANONYMIUS PRODUCTIONS! UNDER MY RULE, FMA ABRIDGED WILL BE STARTED AGAIN, AND REVIEW SPECIALS WILL ONLY BE FIVE MINUTES LONG. COME WITH ME, AND FULFIL YOUR WILDEST DREAMS."**

Bios walks out of the pub. The Clock and Full Metal Alchemist Manga look at each other. Bios walks back in.

**"THAT WAS KIND OF AN INDICATION TO FOLLOW ME."**

"HUH? OH RIGHT!"

And the Clock and manga walk out with Bios.

* * *

**P.S. I don't own the Dahaka either!**

* * *


	9. The Saint Beasts

**I do not own Harry Potter or anything related.**

* * *

Commentator: Welcome back my living and spirit detective wannabe friends to instalment of Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged. Before we begin let's take a look at the reviews you've sent us. PROFESSOR! OPEN THE SHOOT!

(The Professor does so, and out pops two envelopes)

Commentator: Right then! Our first review is from Master Hut:

all right1 I really like how this is going! and i really like this Bios character!

Commentator: -Did she just say 'Bios'?

Professor: It certainly seems that way, Sir.

Commentator: -BIOS WAS IN THE LAST CHAPTER! (Reads the last chapter) I can't see him mentioned anywhere!

Professor: Neither can I, Sir.

Commentator: But that's impossible! We're commentators! We see everything the reader sees!

Professor: Clearly Bios is using some dark side jutsu to cloud our vision, my old friend.

Commentator: Enough with the old, you! You know I think Master Hut mentioned before about a mysterious evil new character. So it was Bios. He's back.

Professor: What do you think he's after?

Commentator: Oh the usual. Take over the world, become absolute tyrant, turn everyone his slaves, you know, cliché villain stuff that's below an Eighteen.

"**I HEARD THAT."**

Commentator: You were supposed to. I mean, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Professor: What's wrong, Sir?

Commentator: What's wrong? BIOS WAS JUST HERE, THAT'S WHAT WAS WRONG! You know, I always knew he'd come back and bite me in the rear.

Professor: What should we do about him?

Commentator: Put him aside for now. We have more important things to worry about.

**"SO, I'M NOT IMPORTANT ENOUGH, AM I? NO MATTER. SOON, I WILL PUT MY EVIL PLAN INTO MOTION. MWAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!"**

Commentator: I might as well finish this review:

Interesting name though. How did you come up with it?

Commentator: That's a long story. Long story short, let's just say that the name originates with a fanfic character Anonymius created for 'Reboot' long ago in the days he didn't know there were other sad people creating their own stories and characters for their favourite series and keeping in the tradition of all characters being named after computer components he later heard his parents talk about the 'BIOS', so the name stuck. Anyhoo, let's move on to the other review:

(jcogginsa gets up unharmed)  
Jcogginsa:sorry, i'm rubber and your in pain(kicks his arse again, this time with through the fire and flames playing)

Commentator: -Ow.

Professor and Sammy: HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!

Commentator: Quiet you two! Well, back to the matter at hand, how dare Jcogginsa suddenly reverse the damage I inflicted! That's not in the rules! (Gets up) Well two can play at this game! It just so happens that the so-called 'arse kicking' you gave me was only a scratch. Now that I am in my true form again, FEAR MY MARTIAL PROWESS!

(Commentator and Jcogginsa enter a Mortal Kombat styled arena)

ROUND ONE: FIGHT!

(The Commentator, armed with a staff, spins it in the air and hits Jcogginsa's head repeatedly with it. Then he knocks him on the ground by hitting his legs. After Jcogginsa gets up, the Commentator disappears and reappears all around Jcogginsa, hitting him in all directions. He's low on health)

FINISH HIM!

Commentator: (Spinning staff) Here's a little move I like to call the 'Nutcracker no Jutsu'!

Professor: Nutcracker No Jutsu?

Commentator: HI YA! (Hits him with the balls)

Professor: Oh. Nutcracker No Jutsu.

(Jcogginsa clutches his balls as he keels over)

COMMENTATOR WINS!

(The Commentator spins his staff)

Commentator: THERE! Let's see you recover from that!

Professor: Sir, how often are you going to pick a fight with one of our readers?

Commentator: Until he concedes defeat! Or when I run out of ways to fight him. Now then, without further ado, enjoy the latest chapter!

* * *

_After months of training (Or is it weeks?) Yusuke Urameshi has returned home, and is currently hanging out with his archrival, which makes absolutely no sense._

Yusuke: Hey! After everything we've been through at the Genkai Tournament, I discovered that Kuwabawa isn't as big as a loser as I took him to be!

Kuwabawa: Hey! Who are you calling a loser?

Yusuke: The guy who wore his school uniform on the weekend, that's who!

Kuwabawa: Oh this is coming from a guy who went to a comic book convention! Speaking of uniforms, shouldn't you be wearing the summer uniform right now?

Yusuke: Whatever gave you that idea?

Kuwabawa: Ah! Look! A gang with knives! And they look strange, somehow.

Yusuke: What, you mean apart from looking like members of Grand Admiral Thrawn's race?

Commentator: I say Professor, this gang of controlled people made a lot more sense in the original-

Yusuke: SHUT THE HELL UP!

(Uses his Reishotgun.)

Kuwabawa: Wow, Urameshi! You used your new attack to take out the gang!

Yusuke: Er, yeah. That's what I intended.

_Later that day Botan caught up with Yusuke and explained to him the situation._

Botan: Demons from the dark part of the Spirit World are attempting to enter the human world and are ransoming the human world in order to enter.

Yusuke: Why would beings from a higher plane of existence want to come down into a lower plane of existence? Shouldn't the good parts of the Spirit World be more appealing?

Botan: Just go with it, Yusuke. Anyway, these demons are being led by the four Saintly Beasts.

Yusuke: Evil demons that are also saints? Talk about a paradox!

Botan: -Anyway, these Saintly Beasts are currently held in a trap filled castle where they have made it their home and the centre of criminal empire.

Yusuke: -That doesn't make any sense.

Botan: Quiet you!

Kuwabawa: He's got a point though.

Botan: You shut up too, Kuwabawa!

(Botan stares at Kuwabawa)

Botan: Er, is there any chance of Kuwabawa not catching anything I just said?

Yusuke: None whatsoever.

Botan: KUWABAWA, I WAS ONLY KIDDING, THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS DEMONS, YUSUKE ISN'T SOME KIND OF SPIRIT DETECTIVE FOR SPIRIT WORLD!

Yusuke: It's a little late to act cynical, doncha think? I mean we practically told him everything last saga.

Botan: -OH THAT'S RIGHT! Hehe. Whoopsie! It completely slipped my mind!

Yusuke: You know you suck at this under cover business.

Oar: WHACK!

Yusuke: OW!

_Later that day, Yusuke, Kuwabawa and Botan go looking for the portal into the demon world, I mean the dark part of the spirit world!_

Kuwabawa: You know this scene actually makes more sense rather than just having us somehow getting transported into the dark part of the spirit world with no explanation given AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

(Falls through the floor. Yusuke and Botan look down below.)

Yusuke: Man. He should know better than to compliment the anime adaptation in comparison to the manga. Although he does have a point, this is an actual useful filler scene that makes the story make more sense in comparison to the original !

_Later that day, Yusuke and Kuwabawa are beset by some hungry ghouls, who are later driven away by an explicable burst of power who's like will never be seen again._

Yusuke: Kurama and Hiei? What are you doing here?

Hiei: We're here to assist you.

Yusuke: Erm, why?

Hiei: Anime law clause 66. "Should a villain be defeated but not killed then he has no choice but to ally himself with the main protagonist and assist him in his fight against evil."

Yusuke: Oh yeah! Well come on gang! Let's kick some demon butt!

Kurama: You do know that being demons what you said is highly offensive, right?

Yusuke: No.

_Later that day the quartet get stuck in the gate of betrayal._

Demon: Welcome to the gate of betrayal. Only the traitor among you gets to enter the castle. Only traitors are allowed to enter the city.

Yusuke: Well that's no way to build a society!

Demon: -Come again?

Yusuke: Well how can any society properly function if you're all stabbing each other in the back?

Demon: -Shut up.

Yusuke: Hiei! Go grab that lever! It's our only chance!

Kuwabawa: What are you waiting for? Pull the lever!

Hiei: Heh heh heh.

Demon: Just as well you didn't pull the switch. The boulder would have crushed you. GAK!

Switch: Pulled up.

Boulder: Fall.

(Hiei dodges the boulder)

Kurama: Ingenious, Hiei! You suspected foul play and tricked the demon into revealing a trap!

Hiei: Er, yeah. Sure. That's what I intended.

Yusuke: (Clutches head) This-this is impossible!

Kuwabawa: What is?

Yusuke: All these additional scenes, us hanging out with Keiko, finding the portal to the dark parts of the spirit world, the boulder scene, they're-theyre-GOOD! In fact I think they've made the story better!

Kurama: Oh. Er, isn't that good?

Yusuke: Is that-FILLER SCENES AREN'T SUPPOSED TO BE GOOD, their only purpose is to lengthen the story! Alterations are supposed to make the story worse, not better! (Pulls hair) IT COMPLETELY DEFIES OTAKU LOGIC!

Kuwabawa: Hey, not all the alterations are good, Urameshi. Remember the people who went berserk and how we didn't notice their skin and eye colour had changed?

Yusuke: Kuwabawa, you've just restored my faith in the manga.

_Later that day, the group come across Genbu, the first saint beast._

Kurama: I'll fight him. I've got the advantage unlike the rest of you.

Yusuke: What's he talking about?

Hiei: Just wait and see.

(Kurama takes out a rose, and transforms it into a whip)

Genbu: DIE!

(Kurama slashes him with the whip, and he falls apart)

Kurama: Anyone who has played Pokemon would know that grass beats rock easily.

Kuwabawa: It's true. In fact, choosing Bulbasaur is considered the easiest level because he can easily beat the rock pokemon in Pewter City.

_Later that day the group encounter Byakko, the second saint beast._

Yusuke: AH! THE TIGER MAN FROM THE OPENING CREDITS!

Kurama: His name is Byakko, the white tiger.

Yusuke: What are you talking about? HE's BLUE!

(Everyone stares at him as if he is crazy)

Kurama: O…kay…

Yusuke: Why are you looking at me like that? Seriously he's blue!

_Later that day Kuwabawa decides to fight Byakko, who turns a few of his hairs into monsters. Kuwabawa defeats them by skewering them with his spirit sword and ties them up around the spire._

Kuwabawa: Like it? I call it my spirit sword monster piece doughnut!

Yusuke: That has got to be the stupidest name for an attack I've ever heard.

Kuwabawa: Shut up, Urameshi.

Byakko: Grrr, you're making me angry! You wouldn't like me when I'm angry!

_Later that day Byakko talks about how powerful he is and how Kuwabawa and the others are insignificant to him._

Kuwabawa: Are you actually gonna fight me or just rant how powerful you are?

Byakko: You'll regret those words, boy!

_Byakko reveals to have the power of absorbing spirit energy, giving him the advantage on Kuwabawa. Kuwabawa however uses this to HIS advantage, by feeding him so much spirit energy that he explodes._

Kurama: Defeated by his own hunger for power. The audience could learn something from this.

Byakko: Don't think I'm defeated yet.

Yusuke: Wait, what? Didn't you just explode a minute ago?

Byakko: I got better. Now come into my lair.

Yusuke: How the heck did he get back up so quickly?

_Later that day, after defeating Byakko, the foursome faced their next opponent, Seiryuu, also meeting an unexpected guest._

Byakko: Seiryuu…help me…

Yusuke: Oh for crying out loud, he's still alive? What does it take to kill this guy?

Seiryuu: A sub-zero punch.

Yusuke: -What do you mean?

Seiryuu: HIYA!

Byakko: GAK!

Yusuke: Oh well, he's finally-

Byakko: Seiryuu…why…?

Yusuke: OH COME ON! HE'S ONLY A FRIGGIN HEAD RIGHT ABOUT NOW! This guy's impossible to-

Byakko: Bleah.

Yusuke: -Is he dead now? Are you sure? Okay.

Hiei: I shall take this villain on.

Seiryuu: Very well. Let us begin the greatest battle ever seen. HI-

Hiei: SLASHSLASHSLASH.

Seiryuu: -GAK!

Yusuke: Wow. He appears defeated! Or is he going to come back from the dead?

Wind: BLOW.

Kurama: No he appears to be definitely dead.

Yusuke: Wow, he didn't put much of a fight. I mean you would have expected the third boss to be tougher than the second!

* * *

Yusuke: How long do you think we've been down here?

Kurama: It's hard to tell, although it can't possibly be more than a day!

* * *

Keiko: Yusuke's been missing for days now!

Commentator: …That doesn't make any sense.

* * *

Suzaku: Those four…THEY'VE KILLED MY COMPANIONS!

Murgle: Actually Lord Suzaku, they didn't kill Byakko. Seiryuu did that.

Susaku: Shut up, Murgle.

Murgle: Yes sir.

Keiko: Mr Tanaka! Are you all right? You look a little blue!

_Later that day, or days apparently, Yusuke faces off with the main boss._

Yusuke: Wait, you're a demon who's also a saintly beast? You don't look demonic or a beast!

Suzaku: Yes Murgle here embodies my bird like characteristics.

Yusuke: Uhuh. That doesn't make any sense.

Suzaku: Shut up and die! Or better yet, watch the girl you're just friends with die! On come on, you lot, they're just a bunch of shonen heroines, they're not that hard to beat! So, how does it feel to know that the girl you're just friends with is the lead in a horror movie?

Yusuke: Relieved, I guess. The lead actresses tend to survive in horror movies.

Suzaku: Oh-right. (Forms a seal) KAGE BUSHIN NO JUTSU. (Creates shadow clones)

Ysusuke: (Wait a sec! I know how to defeat an opponent like him!) What happens to a clone's soul after the body disappears?

Suzaku: Well, I reabsorb the body, and with that the soul of the clone, allowing their consciousness to continue to exist.

Yusuke: DAMNIT! THAT WORKED ON NARUTO!

* * *

Yusuke: HAH! You're out of power!

Suzaku: Not quite. I can reabsorb the power of my fallen selves, return to full strength, and become seven again.

Yusuke: Oh come on!

_Meanwhile downstairs, the three are still fighting the plant people._

Kuwabawa: Hey, is it just me or are we repeating the exact same moves over and over again?

Hiei: It's you.

Kurama: Quiet, Hiei. It appears that Suzaku has trapped us into a timeloop, forcing us to relive the exact same movement over and over again. Or more likely, in order to lengthen the episode, the animators decided that they could spend less time animating by using the exact same frames over and over again.

* * *

Suzaku: Now I shall make you go through extreme torture. For ten whole minutes.

Yusuke: Like I'm gonna let you torture the viewers like that. SPIRITUS EX MACHINA!

Suzaku: What the-? You're using your own life force? Surely that's suicide?

Yusuke: Didn't anyone ever tell you. SACRIFCING MY SELF FOR OTHERS IS WHAT I LOVE DOING THE MOST!

Suzaku: No! No! I can't be defeated like this! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

* * *

Suzaku: Defeated…by a deus ex machina…it's-just-so-lame…BLEAH.

No. of times Yusuke has tried to sacrifice himself: Four.

_Fortunately though, Yusuke is saved and recovering at Kuwabawa's place, where a number of rumours have aroused because of it._

THE END.

* * *

Yusuke: Wow! I can't believe we got through a whole saga on zombies without one lame 'BRAIIIIIINS!' joke!

Kurama: Yes it's probably because the brains thing has already been used in two other parodies.

Inferi: Brains!

Inferi: Brains!

Sylar: BRAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINS!

Inferi: Brains!

Kurama: See what I mean?

* * *

Commentator: Well that's it.

Sammy: So, is this the end? No more 'Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged'?

Commentator: Well after getting into the anime Anonymius decided to give it another chance. So in about a month's time (Unless he's not feeling up to it) we'll be doing 'Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged (With Commentary): Season 2'! We just didn't do the final arc of Season One given there didn't seem to be that much to make fun of. But we'll include a 'previously' in the next fic! So see you all later!

* * *

"**BRETHREN! WE HAVE GATHERED HERE TO WELCOME OUR NEWEST MEMBERS! CLOCK, FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST COMIC, STEP FORWARD!"**

The Clock and Manga do so.

"**NOW THEN," **Bios raises his fingers, "**I SHALL GIVE YOU THE POWER THAT I HAD PROMISED, MAKING YOU EVEN MORE POWERFUL THAN EVER BEFORE!"**

He touches them. Black electrical energy runs through their bodies. They transform.

"**ARISE, CYBER-CLOCKWORK!"**

The Clock gets up, having transformed into a large armed robot.

"SOON, ANONYMIUS' TIME WILL BE UP!" He announced.

"**-AND PAPER DEMON!"**

The Fullmetal alchemist comic gets up, having been transformed into a demonic looking creature made of paper.

"I shall PAPER-CUT Anonymius all over!" He announced.

"**UNFORTUNATELY A SIDE EFFECT OF THIS IS THAT THE RECEIVER TENDS TO MAKE REALLY BAD PUNS ALL THE TIME."**

"Hey Boss! How come you've never bestowed great power on me?" Leatherwing asked.

"**BECAUSE LEATHERWING I WOULD LIKE TO HAVE ONE LACKEY IN MY CIRCLE, AS WELL AS AT LEAST ONE MINION WHO DOESN'T MAKE BAD PUNS IN CONNECTION TO THEIR NAME. SOON, MY MINIONS, THE TIME WILL COME WHEN WE SHALL OVERTHROW ANONYMIUS, AND TAKE OVER ANONYMIUS PRODUCTIONS! MWAHAHAH! MWAHAHAHA! MWAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAA!"**

Everyone joins in the laughter.

"**ONLY I MAY LAUGH."**

"Sorry!" The three minions quickly apologised.


End file.
